GRANDPARENT'S DAY: MARION ROSS TO APPEAR AT SPECIAL FAMILY CONCERT.

Byline: Jesse Hiestand Staff Writer

One of America's favorite TV moms freely admits she was never much of a baby lover - until she heard the coo of her first grandchild.

``I just went crazy,'' said actress Marion Ross, who played Mrs. Cunningham on ``Happy Days'' while raising a son and daughter of her own. ``Some primordial thing happens to you. It's just part of nature. You just tear up. It surprised me.''

The 70-year-old Woodland Hills resident sees her granddaughter Taylor, 9, about once a week. They hike or swim, play tennis or tackle some math homework together.

As Ross prepared last week to narrate ``Peter and the Wolf'' at the Symphony in the Glen concert at 3 p.m. today in Griffith Park in honor of National Grandparent's Day, she reflected on the remarkable and historic changes that grandparenting is undergoing.

``I love to say to people my age, What do you want to be when you grow up,'' said Ross, an ever-present twinkle in her eyes. ``It's amazing to me because we still have dreams. What a lucky generation we are.''

With people living longer than ever before, elders have more time to spend with grandchildren while also pursuing their own interests and independence, experts say.

Some work well beyond the traditional retirement age, whether out of necessity or desire. Others stay just as active as they did decades ago. And an increasing number of seniors are enlisting e-mail and other cutting-edge technology to keep in touch with their grandkids.

``The old stereotypes are breaking because of changes in population aging - grandparents and grandchildren are sharing more years together than ever before in human history,'' said Verne Bengtson, a professor of gerontology and sociology at the University of Southern California.

In 1900, the average person lived about 42 years. A century later it is 80 years, said Bengtson, who has spent nearly three decades tracking 200 families in a long-term study of intergenerational relationships.

Clinically speaking, Bengtson identifies four types of grandparents.

There are those thrown back into the role of parenting by having to raise the children of their relatives or by becoming foster grandparents to those who are wards of the court because their parents were abusive, addicted to drugs or otherwise irresponsible.

``Another type of grandparent is detached - they don't have much to do with the kids,'' Bengtson said.

The third type assumes the role of patriarch or matriarch and feels a strong moral responsibility to ensure the kids are raised properly.

And the fourth category, into which Ross puts herself, is that of the fun-loving grandparent who mostly enjoys spoiling the kids.

``I just really have them to play with, and when they want candy, I give it to them,'' Ross said. ``That's the best thing - there are no don'ts.''

As any grandparent knows, the spirit of youth is infectious.

``I get right down to her level: We're two spunky people,'' Ross said.

Taylor is the daughter of Ross' son Jim Meskimen. Both he and his sister, Ellen Plummer, followed their mother's lead and became actors.

Meskimen and his family live in the Tarzana house where Ross lived during her 11 years on ``Happy Days'' as the wholesome, wise-cracking Milwaukee housewife affectionately known as Mrs. C.

Ross will pay tribute to family life and be honored herself as a grandmother at the afternoon concert today in Griffith Park.

Up to 2,000 people are expected to see Ross and the 40-piece orchestra, under the direction of conductor Arthur B. Rubinstein, perform ``Peter and the Wolf'' by Prokofiev.

The orchestra will also perform ``Symphony No. 86 in D'' by Haydn and both ``Danse'' and ``March Ecossaise'' by Debussy.

Children from last year's Symphony in the Glen chorus and the Los Angeles Music and Art School will perform ``The Grandparent Song,'' with lyrics by Rubinstein. It is now the official theme song of National Grandparent's Day.

The concert will be preceded at 1:30 p.m. by a free Junior and Senior Conducting Class in which Rubinstein will teach grandparents and their grandchildren to conduct. One grandparent and grandkid, selected at random, will later get to conduct a selection by the orchestra.

Ross said she hopes the concert will expose young people to classical music while letting them spend time with their elders. She said people can also honor Grandparent's Day by gathering for a family dinner and having grandparents share family history - perhaps preserving those memories on tape.

Ross said she never really knew her grandparents, who were Irish and Scottish immigrants.

Still, the four-time Emmy nominee drew critical acclaim for her portrayal of Sophie Berger, the grandmother and matriarch of a Jewish immigrant family from Poland on the CBS series ``Brooklyn Bridge.''

The story of several generations living under one roof elicited a tremendous outpouring of fan mail, Ross said.

``They would say, Why can't we have it like that anymore,'' she said. ``I think our culture longs for what it had. Everyone wanted out so fast - to get divorced, to move on, and I wonder what we threw away.''

Now, she said, is the time to get it back.

``We think we know, and the person dies and it's gone,'' Ross said. ``The older I get, the more I realize that family is the most important thing. All the careers, all the awards, the fans are not going to be there for you. But family will be.''

IF YOU'RE GOING

Today marks the sixth annual Symphony in the Glen concert honoring National Grandparent's Day. The concert and parking are free. It will be held at 3 p.m. today in Griffith Park near the Merry Go Round at 4800 Crystal Springs Dr.

From the Ventura Freeway, take any exit to Zoo Drive.

From the Golden State Freeway, take Los Feliz Boulevard West.

Follow the signs to parking.

People are encouraged to bring family and friends, a blanket and picnic lunch. Donations of canned goods will be taken for the Salvation Army Family Services Division.

CAPTION(S):

Photo, Box

Photo: (Color) Actress Marion Ross will read ``Peter and the Wolf'' at Symphony in the Glen today.

John McCoy/Staff Photographer

Box: IF YOU'RE GOING (See text)