GOODBYE, CHER, FOR THE LOVE OF GAUD DIVA OF FLASH, CAMP THRILLS CROWD AT HOLLYWOOD BOWL.

Byline: Fred Shuster Music Critic

This way to hell.

The dozen yahoos shouting and hoisting anti-gay propaganda at the foot of the pathway leading to the Hollywood Bowl on Saturday were apparently not just talking about the truly frightening wig collection Cher displayed at the final (no, really, final) date of her three-year farewell tour.

But, inside the venue, nobody was complaining. Cher's extravagant show - equal parts Cirque du Soleil, Holiday Inn karaoke and gay pride rally - kept a full house spellbound as the pop icon delivered a career-spanning set that covered everything from ``I Got You Babe,'' ``The Beat Goes On,'' ``Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves'' and ``Half-Breed'' to ``Song for the Lonely'' and ``Believe'' and a whole lot more. Not that the songs mattered.

A party mood prevailed as groups of friends danced together, shouted ``I love you, Cher!'' and gasped as costumes sent the outrageous meter into the red. Cher is beloved for, among other things, a self-deprecating sense of humor rare at her level of fame. Lowered onto the Bowl stage atop a giant gilded chandelier, Cher wore an elaborate headdress and floor-length sequined robe, crooning U2's ``I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.'' The whole scene did indeed suggest, as the entertainer herself put it, a ``drag-queen piata.'' Cher-wear at its finest.

Telling the crowd this would indeed be the end of her 325-date ``Never Can Say Goodbye'' trek, the singer-actress joked that she hoped not to have to return to the stage in 25 years riding a rhinestone-encrusted Liberty Scooter. Cher, who turns 59 on May 20, added, ``This is the last time - 'cause I'm approaching 80.''

A few catty comments about Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez - ``They're a bunch of little hos, aren't they?'' - drew appreciative hollers, followed by a dazzling India-themed set piece with colorful dancers and Cher in a sari atop a moving elephant prop. This show had more costume changes than the Bowl normally sees in an entire season. (Note to Esa-Pekka Salonen: A little Bob Mackie for the L.A. Phil might not be such a bad idea.)

There was little melancholy in the stands Saturday, despite the swan- song veneer. Cameras clicked, cell phones were held aloft and the faithful stood in line to shell out $43 for T-shirts and $6.50 for cups of Bowl caterer Patina's easygoing merlot. One Cher look-alike soaked up attention in little more than fishnets, G-string and black leather jacket.

The spectacle was pure flash, but the music was trash. As a graceless backing band thundered behind her, Cher's frozen face and voice were expressionless, and the material blended into a one-dimensional racket. But that's old news.

At the end of the show, Cher brought her 100-strong crew on stage for a bow before fireworks blasted into the night sky and a sign lit up above the stage: ``Follow that, bitches.''

Earlier, the Village People turned out campy readings of their cheeky disco-era hits, ``Y.M.C.A.'' and ``Macho Man.''

It must've been a helluva end-of-tour wrap party. So long Cher - see you in Vegas.

CAPTION(S):

2 photos

Photo:

(1) Cher, on the final leg of farewell tour Saturday at the Hollywood Bowl, gives five to eager fans.

(2) Ray Simpson leads the Village People - and the Hollywood Bowl crowd - in pre-Cher interlude.

Michael Owen Baker/Staff Photographer