GO FOR GUTSY.

BANISH THOSE BUTTERFLIES AND GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT--WITHOUT GOING OVER THE TOP

Spunk is important to have in life. You've got to have guts to achieve happiness and success. And guess what--you already have what it takes.

"Hey, wait a sec," you might be thinking. "I'm really laid back. My BFF is the one who'd have the gumption to bungee jump off the Grand Canyon. Just where is this spunk of mine hiding--under that pile of dirty socks?"

Not exactly. Spunk, guts, courage, whatever you want to call it--that inner strength that powers you toward achievement--is buried deep inside your personality. But it's up to you to build and develop it like a talent, so that you can eventually unleash it on the universe, full-on. (Stop us if we're getting too X-Men: The Movie.)

Think about being gutsy in the same way you'd think of learning flute. When you first pick up a flute, you have no idea how to play it or read sheet music. But you concentrate and practice, playing over and over again until you can play a whole song. You can rehearse being gutsy the same way--make courageous moves over and over until it fee is totally natural.

Think about the vibrant, successful gals you look up to and admire. You know, how your big sis worked really hard and finally got accepted by the college of her dreams? And consider one of your favorite singers, like Christina Aguilera. Christina has used her self-assurance and ambition to rise to the top. Gwyneth Paltrow isn't only a groovy actress--her personal confidence makes her this year's "it" girl. And let's not forget those incredible female achievers you read about in the news--women like Sally Ride and Madeline Albright who didn't let naysayers get in their way. What can you learn from such women? Check such amazing out the following traits they have in common.

1. They like themselves enough to know they deserve toga for whatever they want Yes, you are worthy of anything you can accomplish.

2. They pay attention to the world around them to figure put how to go after their dreams. Gwyneth didn't win an Oscar because she looked great in a pink gown--she's an awesome actor. She was lucky enough to grow up with a mom and dad in the film biz, so she saw what it takes to become a terrific talent.

3. When faced with something scary but at the same time totally worth trying, they try it. Gutsy girls may feel fear at first, but they always find a way to beat it.

4. They give it their all. True gutsy girls work long and hard to meet a goal. That could mean hours perfecting your balance beam routine or rewriting that essay until the teacher can't deny its brilliance.

5. They don't let failure define who they are. Not every boy is going to like you. Your team won't win every game, either. So what? Gutsy girls weather little losses along the way. Why see one little failure as the end of the world? Instead, figure out what you can learn from the experience to change things next time around.

Gutsy girls also proceed with caution. After all, we're not shooting for over-the-top self-confidence here. Who wants an ego so huge it could eat Chicago? Despite our best intentions, we sometimes scare off potential BFs (like Josh, who's been smiling at you in homeroom) by coming on too strong. Or intimidate our BFFs by being too bossy. Get gutsy, but stay smart.

So how do you put your spunk into practice and stay wonderful, level-headed you? Here's how to navigate some tricky situations with strength and common sense.

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN, SHAKIN' IN YOUR BOOTS

You're dying to try, out for your school's production of Oklahoma. But you've never sung before an audience, and you're terrified beyond belief. How can you shake up the nerve to audition?

THE GUTSY GIRL RESPONSE: First, admit you're scared. Everybody's scared of something. The trick is to break down your fear, bit by bit, until 'you understand it--because when you fully understand something, your emotions calm down and logic takes over. Then you'll get that there's nothing to freak over.

The fear of performing in public is incredibly common. Lots of famous actors and singers get stage fright. Rehearsal is the road to Chillville.

Choose a song you want to sing at your audition, and get it on CD. Every chance you get, lock yourself in your room and sing along to the CD. Do this until you feel so comfy with every note you could sing the tune in your sleep.

Then try belting it out in front of a full-length mirror. Smile, relax, stand straight, feel good about how you look while you're singing.

Once the song is etched in your vocal chords, choose someone you trust--like your mom--and sing it for her. Bet she'll give you a standing ovation. Next, ask Dad to be your audience...then your BFF...and so on. Appreciate the positive encouragement. Their support is well-deserved. Now' get out there and nail that audition.

See how you broke down your fear? You practiced doing the thing you feared note by note until you were completely comfortable with it. Then you further proved you had nothing to fear by singing for others and letting them show you their approval. So rather than being frozen by fear, you've outsmarted it.

SPUNK SMARTS: If you get a role in the school play, break a leg. If you don't, join chorus or look into private lessons. You may well have a natural singing talent, but it takes time to fine-tune a diva voice. Figure your first audition as a learning experience and throw your energy into practicing. Imagine what tip-top shape your voice will be in when Grease auditions roll around.

BREAKING THE ICE WITH YOUR CRUSH

Let's get back to Josh from home-room. The cutie smiles at you every morning as you walk to your desk directly behind him. Yet, he never utters a word. You sooo want to strike up a conversation, but how?

THE GUTSY GIRL RESPONSE: There's not a thing wrong with making the first move. A shy guy will really appreciate that you want to talk with him, and it will take a whole lotta load off his shoulders. You can bet if Josh does like you, he's been racking his brain to come up with a clever way to spark an introduction. Imagine his relief when you give him the green light.

For a clear break, be observant. Check out the stuff on Josh's desk. Is he doing homework before class? Take a peek at which subject he's tackling. If he's memorizing French vocab, ask him if he knows the difference between masculine and feminine nouns. Be friendly, and give him a chance to respond. Don't get lost in his sea-blue eyes. Really listen to what he says back to you, so you show him you're really interested.

SPUNK SMARTS: Making the first move is great but it's not cool to be overly aggressive. Let things move along at a reasonable pace. If you two click during this initial chat, talk with him again tomorrow. If you're meant to be an item, it will happen naturally in time, so don't force it. Crushes come and go.

LETS MAKE A DEAL

In your opinion, your mom is being totally unfair about your curfew. On Friday nights, your crew always catches a movie. You have to be home by 9 p.m., an hour earlier than any of your friends. This means sometimes you actually have to leave to go home before the flick's over. You feel like a total toddler as you stroll out of the theater to meet Mom in the parking lot. You really want to hammer out a new deal for a later curfew.

THE GUTSY GIRL RESPONSE: If you really feel you're mature enough to stay out later, then you must present your case in a mature manner. Don't go on and on about how uncool Mom is and how she treats you like a little kid. Explain to her that you can understand she's concerned about your well-being. As hard as it is for some girls to believe, your mom is not out to make you look like a geeky loser who's laughed at by the kids who get to stay out 'til 10:30.

That said, try and cut yourself a new deal. Say something like, "I know you want me to be safe, but I really can handle a later curfew. I'm responsible; look at how I brought up my algebra grade this semester. Do you think we could go for a 10 p.m. curfew, just on a trial basis?" You're asking politely, showing Mom you're considerate of her feelings and pointing out your responsibility. Your mom will most likely take your request into consideration because you've presented your side in a solid, straightforward way--without whining.

SPUNK SMARTS: Slamming doors and complaining are not good tactics here. Being bratty does not equal gutsy. And flipping out won't get you anywhere but grounded. If your mom won't go for a new curfew, accept that, as a parent, she has to go with her own comfort level.

BE A BFF, NOT THE BOSS

Your BFF is awesome. She's smart, funny and kind to everyone. So when you have a heavy problem, you go to her. Just one thing--she's motor mouth! She blabs your stuff to everybody. You wouldn't be surprised if she posted it on the Internet. You don't confront her because you don't want to create friction in an otherwise fine friendship.

THE GUTSY GIRL RESPONSE: You really care about your friendship, and that's admirable. But when something about your BFF affects you in a bad way, be brave and speak up. Explain to your so-called bud that you confide in her because you trust her. As nicely as possible, break it to her that you won't be able to share secrets if she doesn't respect your confidence.

SPUNK SMARTS: There's a fine line between standing up to your bud and bossing her around. Telling her she should cut her bangs, improve her posture, study harder or eat less between meals is not your business! Why not? Because it does not affect you.

Being bossy shows insecurity, not gutsiness. Offering advice your BFF doesn't want will just drive you apart. You guys are super close, but your bud has her own free will. Being secure with yourself means you don't need to control another person's likes, dislikes and behavior. It means you're strong enough to be the best person you can possibly be and let your friend do the same.

If a friend asks you for help? Well, in that case, of course, dole out the advice! What are friends for, right?

HOW NOT TO CHOKE

Even the gutsiest girl alive can encounter a case of anxiety from time to time. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you might choke, here's an easy solution:

Mentally review all of your past successes. Relive times you did well until you feel cool, calm and collected. It's a great idea to actually memorize a list of your accomplishments so you can refer to it whenever you need it.

Boost your self-esteem by asking yourself what your role model would do if she found herself in your situation--imagining how Gwen Stefani might deliver your book report gives you a mental picture to follow, so you can try standing or speaking in the same comfortable manner she would.

Most of all, be proud. Accept that you won't win all of the time--but always try your best. That's what being a gutsy girl is really all about.