GIVE THE GIFT THAT WORKS.

Byline: Dave McNary Daily News Staff Writer

Don't give him a tie.

That's the only bit of advice that experts in workplace etiquette agree on when it comes to the slippery question of what's an appropriate gift for the boss.

``Ties are for sons, daughters and spouses to give,'' said Tom Welch, whose latest book is ``Work Happy, Live Healthy . . . New Solutions for Career Satisfaction Including More Time & Money.'' ``If he doesn't wear it, he feels bad and you feel bad. So no ties.''

But the larger issue of buying a gift at all is far more complicated. ``I don't think there's really a right or wrong answer but a guideline is that if you're unsure, you're probably safer not giving a gift,'' said Welch, who calls himself ``America's Career Coach.'' ``If you're contemplating it, you might try to find out what they think before you put them on the spot but if you put my feet to the fire, I'd say you're better off not giving.''

Aside from deflating your wallet, giving your boss a gift may have several unintended consequences such as causing bad feelings among co-workers who didn't pony up; making the boss feel uncomfortable that you expect a social relationship outside the job; and competition with co-workers for who can give the most impressive gift.

Los Angeles psychologist Robert Butterworth advocates that supervisors discourage the practice. ``It causes all sorts of guilt and obligations,'' he explained. ``This is a case where Scrooge is alive and well in the workplace.''

Nonsense, contends Robyn Spizman, author of ``The Perfect Present, the Ultimate Gift Guide for Every Occasion.'' Her view - there's nothing wrong with getting into the holiday spirit.

``I believe you should not resist a generous impulse,'' she said. ``You can do it something as simple as a homemade baked gift or write a letter explaining how he helped you do a better job during the year. Words are free and fabulous.''

A recent survey by American Express found plenty of gift-giving to bosses, with 27 percent of U.S. employees planing to take that step and spend an average of $54.

Spizman suggests a joint gift as a way to ease worries about associates feeling left out. ``If you want to be considerate of your co-workers, that's a very successful route,'' she said. ``The boss can thank everyone at once, which is far more comfortable for him or her.''

Spizman recommends pens (``They don't scream out how much they cost and they're useful''), business biographies, personalized leather-bound organizers (``Double-check to make sure you spell the name right'') and donations to a charity in the boss's name.

Richard Chilcott, vice president of retail at leather goods specialist Cole-Haan, shrugs off the notion that gifts to bosses carry ulterior motives. ``I think most is in the true spirit of the holidays, particularly if things are going well with the economy,'' he said.

But for those needing the confidence to follow through on stiffing the boss, Welch offers this advice: ``The best gift you can give a boss is great job performance. Do the best job you can and a little more.''

And no ties.

GIFT-GIVING GUIDELINES

Safe gifts

Buying your boss a gift can represent a potential minefield, but these are fairly safe purchases, experts say.

Homemade chocolate chip cookies

Donation to the United Way

Personalized note pad with leather cover

``Work in Progress'' by Michael Eisner

A letter of appreciation

Gold Rush bar from DeBrito Chocolate (``To die for,'' says Robyn Spizman, author of ``The Perfect Present'')

Unsafe gifts

A perfect gift for a friend or relative can be a disaster if given to the boss.

Neckties, cuff links and handkerchiefs

Any underwear, but particularly lingerie

Personalized note pad with misspelled name

``Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'' by Hunter S. Thompson

Video of your child's birth

Any ``gag'' gift such as whip and handcuffs

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PHOTO (Color) Maurice Godin, left, and Fred Savage of the NBC sitcom ``Working'' play the boss and employee trying to get ahed, respectively. Would buying your boss a Christmas gift be appropriate? Experts say gift giving in the workplace could receive mixed reactions.

BOX: GIFT-GIVING GUIDELINES (See text)