GET A GRIP.Byline: GLENN WHIPP WHIPP WhiteWater Head Impact Protection Project 'Tis the season for people who are paid to watch movies to complain about what a lump of coal the past year has been. And, yes, a year in which studios count films like ``The Honeymooners,'' ``Bewitched'' and ``Dukes of Hazzard'' as their summer spectaculars has the distinct odor of a long-dead rodent. But then, next year offers the ripe possibilities of ``Basic Instinct 2,'' ``Garfield 2'' and ``The Santa Clause 3.'' Let's face it: Crap is a gift that Hollywood can't stop giving. So, looking back on 2005, let's pull up a chair, throw another ``Brokeback Mountain'' promotional bandanna on the fire and remember not the pain and the suffering and the hearing loss inflicted by the Michael Bays of the world (would that we were able to rub out to remove or separate by friction; to erase; to obliterate; as, to rub out a mark or letter; to rub out a stain s>. See also: Rub those memories like Renee Zellweger erased her marriage) and appreciate the good times when the popcorn was fresh, the movies were good and Tom Cruise danced like a mad kangaroo and made Oprah fear for her life. FAVORITE COUPLES Naomi Watts and Andy Serkis Andy Serkis (born 20 April, 1964) is an English actor and director best known for his work with Peter Jackson. Biography Serkis was born and brought up in Ruislip Manor, Middlesex, England. in ``King Kong King Kong giant ape brought to New York as “eighth wonder of world.” [Am. Cinema: Payton, 367] See : Giantism .'' Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson Owen Cunningham Wilson (born November 18, 1968) is an American actor and writer. Wilson was nominated for an Academy Award for his work on the screenplay of The Royal Tenenbaums, but he is perhaps best known for his successful comedic roles such as John Beckwith in in ``The Wedding Crashers.'' Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello Maria Elana Bello (born April 18, 1967) is a Golden Globe-nominated American actress. Biography Early life Bello was born in Norristown, Pennsylvania to an Italian American father and a Polish American mother. in ``A History of Violence.'' Joaquin Phoenix Joaquín Rafael Phoenix (pronounced IPA: [hwakiːn / ra.fa.ˈe̞l / fiːnɪks]; born October 28, 1974), formerly credited as Leaf Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon in ``Walk the Line.'' Wallace and Gromit in ``Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.'' Joan Allen and Kevin Costner in ``The Upside of Anger.'' SMALL ROLES, BIG IMPRESSIONS William Hurt's gangster in ``A History of Violence.'' Robin Wright Penn's met-my-old-lover-in-a-grocery-store in ``Nine Lives.'' Norman Lloyd's poetry lover in ``In Her Shoes.'' INDELIBLE IMAGES Steve Carrell car·rel also car·rell n. A partially partitioned nook in or near the stacks in a library, used for private study. [Middle English carole, round dance ring, circle, stall for study getting his chest waxed in ``The 40-Year-Old Virgin.'' King Kong swatting away biplanes atop the Empire State Building in ``King Kong.'' Joaquin Phoenix stalking the stage as the Man in Black in ``Walk the Line.'' A bullet: From birth to death in the opening credits of ``Lord of War.'' Penguins shuffling across 70 miles of frozen Antarctica snowscapes in ``March of the Penguins.'' Orlando Bloom taking his dad on one last road trip in Cameron Crowe's lyrical ode to the power of love, ``Elizabethtown.'' ``FAMILY'' FILMS THAT ONLY PLANNED PARENTHOOD Planned Parenthood A service mark used for an organization that provides family planning services. COULD LOVE ``Are We There Yet'' ``The Pacifier'' ``Cheaper by the Dozen 2'' ``Yours, Mine & Ours'' ``Chicken Little'' THEY DON'T MAKE MOVIES LIKE THEY USED TO BECAUSE, WHEN THEY DO, THE PEOPLE WHO GRIPE gripe v. To have sharp pains in the bowels. n. 1. gripes Sharp, spasmodic pains in the bowels. 2. A firm hold; a grasp. 'THEY DON'T MAKE FILMS LIKE THEY USED TO' DON'T GO ``Duma'' ``Little Manhattan'' ``Dear Frankie'' SHOULD THE 'TORTURE ACT' CONTAIN A PROVISION BANNING COMIC-BOOK MOVIES? EVIDENCE SAYS 'YES' ``Aeon Flux'' ``Fantastic Four'' ``Elektra'' ``Son of the Mask'' ``Sin City'' DOUBLED OUR PLEASURE (MORE SO, IN A COUPLE OF CASES) Rachel McAdams in ``The Wedding Crashers'' and ``The Family Stone..'' Terrence Howard in ``Crash'' and ``Hustle & Flow'' (and even ``Get Rich or Die Tryin', though we wouldn't sit through 50 Cent's acting to watch it again). Heath Ledger in ``Brokeback Mountain'' and ``Lords of Dogtown.'' Ralph Fiennes in ``The Constant Gardener'' and ``The White Countess'' (and his turn, sans nose, in ``Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,'' not to mention his hilarious voice work as the pompous Victor Quartermaine in ``Wallace & Gromit''). WORST CASTING CHOICES Diminutive Adam Sandler as a football stud in ``The Longest Yard.'' Self-satisfied John Travolta as a cool guy in ``Be Cool.'' Jessica Simpson as an actress required to open her mouth in ``The Dukes of Hazzard.'' Tara Reid as a brainy brain·y adj. brain·i·er, brain·i·est Informal Intelligent; smart. brain  i·ly adv. anthropologist in ``Alone in the
Dark.''
Katie Holmes as Tom Cruise's fiancee in real life. Glenn Whipp, (818) 713-3672 glenn.whipp(at)dailynews.com Glenn Whipp's Top 10 1. A History of Violence - David Cronenberg's explosive, subversive revenge thriller examines our fascination with violence and - whether we like to admit it or not - the twisted pleasure we take from the brutality that is part of the fabric of our society and our movies. 2. Grizzly Man - Werner Herzog's haunting documentary about lost boy Timothy Treadwell, the self-anointed ``protector of the bears,'' a man whose sentimentalized view of nature differs from the chaos seen by the filmmaker. The collision of viewpoints hits hard. 3. Cache (Hidden) - Michael Haneke's unsettling un·set·tle v. un·set·tled, un·set·tling, un·set·tles v.tr. 1. To displace from a settled condition; disrupt. 2. To make uneasy; disturb. v.intr. thriller messes with its audience's mind and complacency in its examination of the moral decay that comes with denial. 4. Capote - A portrait of an artist in spiritual isolation, featuring Philip Seymour Hoffman's astonishing a·ston·ish tr.v. as·ton·ished, as·ton·ish·ing, as·ton·ish·es To fill with sudden wonder or amazement. See Synonyms at surprise. performance as a writer crafting his own inglorious in·glo·ri·ous adj. 1. Ignominious; disgraceful: Napoleon's inglorious end. 2. Not famous; obscure: an inglorious young writer. end. 5. King Kong - Extraordinary, epic entertainment on a scale light-years ahead of anyone else. Nobody makes movies bigger or better than Peter Jackson. 6. Pride & Prejudice - Director Joe Wright brings the Jane Austen war horse thrillingly alive with a smart, cinematic adaptation that loses none of the novel's emotional resonance. 7. 2046 - Wong Kar Wai's meditation on beauty delivers lush eroticism Eroticism Aphrodite novel of Alexandrian manners by Pierre Louys. [Fr. Lit.: Benét, 783] Ars Amatoria Ovid’s treatise on lovemaking. [Rom. Lit. of the highest order. 8. Broken Flowers - Two masters of minimalism minimalism, schools of contemporary art and music, with their origins in the 1960s, that have emphasized simplicity and objectivity. Minimalism in the Visual Arts - Jim Jarmusch and Bill Murray - meet in this tender film about a man's search for the son he never knew he had. He doesn't locate him, but does find meaning in the journey. 9. The Wedding Crashers - Best buddy movie in ages. Best R-rated sex comedy ever. Craziest redhead in a movie since ``Carrie.'' What more do you need? This fearless, unhinged comedy just keeps giving and giving. 10. Junebug - Expertly observed culture collision comedy, both daring and moving, and made special by Amy Adams' joyously soulful supporting work. (It was a good year for redheads.) CAPTION(S): 5 photos, box Photo: (1) ``CAPOTE'' (2) ``KING KONG'' (3) ``THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN'' (4) ``A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE'' (5) McADAMS Box: Glenn Whipp's Top 10 (see text) |
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