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Fun in the sun


Death by Leisure: A Cautionary Tale A cautionary tale is a traditional story told in folklore, to warn its hearer of a danger.

There are three essential parts to a cautionary tale, though they can be introduced in a large variety of ways.
by Chris Ayres320pp, John Murray, £12.99

National stereotypes may be unforgivably lazy journalism but, goodness, they get spun into lucrative literary careers by journalists. Bill Bryson, Peter Mayle, even Helen Fielding (via the "American stick insect Natasha" in Bridget Jones' Diary) have all parlayed some of the most tried and tired cultural clichés into very funny books.

From the first page Chris Ayres gleefully glee·ful  
adj.
Full of jubilant delight; joyful.



gleeful·ly adv.

glee
 suggests he's doing something similar in his second memoir, Death by Leisure. The West Coast correspondent for the Times (or "showbiz reporter" as he's occasionally referred to, much to his irritation) is lying by a pool on a typically hot day in Los Angeles, next to a typically perfect Californian woman wearing a white bikini and, of course, gold jewellery. Ayres, born and bred Born and Bred is a light-hearted British drama series that aired for four series on BBC One from 2002 to 2005. It was created by Chris Chibnall and Nigel McCrery. The cast was led by James Bolam and Michael French, who played a father and son who run a cottage hospital in  in Wooler, a pocket of northern England where "not even the Romans could be bothered to go", is wearing jeans, heavy ribbed socks, shoes, a sweater and sweat. In a predictably fruitless attempt to impress the babe, he runs home to change into his summer clothes: T-shirt, sandals and socks. The faint scent of Lynx and Clearasil may go unmentioned but is unmissable.

Death by Leisure is basically a sequel to 2005's War Reporting for Cowards, in which Ayres was transplanted from his cushy cush·y  
adj. cush·i·er, cush·i·est Informal
Making few demands; comfortable: a cushy job.



[Origin unknown.
 Californian niche to Baghdad, which turned out to be even more scary than trying to blag blag
Verb

[blagging, blagged] Brit slang

1. to obtain by wheedling or cadging

2. to steal or rob [origin unknown]
 one's way into an Oscars party. Now Ayres is back reporting beneath LA's "big, dumb and happy" blue sky. Not that it's an entirely comfortable set-up. When he's not fending off demands for stories from his editor, he's attempting to impress unimpressable girls by inviting them to glitzy glitz   Informal
n.
Ostentatious showiness; flashiness: "a garish barrage of show-biz glitz" Peter G. Davis.

tr.v.
 parties he's not invited to himself, taking out loans from dubious financiers with names like Flip and trying to meet women by selling broken furniture online.

Then there's the apocalyptic Californian weather, which he frets about like a native (and uses as a pathetic fallacy for his moods - drought for desperation, floods for romantic troubles - which seems clumsy at best, solipsistic at worst).

But although he may be getting fake tans and caviar facials, the endless self-deprecation is definitely English. From Ayres's self-description it's a marvel he managed to get to his late 20s without having killed himself by walking into a lamppost, as opposed to becoming a successful journalist with a dream job before his 30th birthday.

Whereas War Reporting for Cowards used a genuinely funny and original set-up - Hollywood reporter reluctantly transplanted to the frontline - the tale of a hapless, balding, shamelessly shallow British male trying to crash his way into the glamorous American set might have the funny quotient, but is lacking somewhat in originality. Unfortunately for Ayres, his book labours under a more ominous shadow than the tropical storm clouds: Toby Young, and his How To Lose Friends and Alienate People How to Lose Friends and Alienate People is a memoir by Toby Young about his failed five-year effort to make it in the U.S. as a contributing editor at Conde Nast Publications' Vanity Fair magazine. , which treads a very similar red carpet. The author's physical resemblance to Young, displayed for to see all on the front cover, only makes the similarities more marked, as does the adulatory ad·u·late  
tr.v. ad·u·lat·ed, ad·u·lat·ing, ad·u·lates
To praise or admire excessively; fawn on.



[Back-formation from adulation.
 quote by Young himself on the press release (unsurprisingly, he loves Ayres' book).

But originality is never essential in LA and this is, cheesy cheesy (che´ze) caseous.  final paragraphs aside, a very funny book with nice comic timing. Any man who asks "How in the name of Christ did I manage to screw up to force; to bring by violent pressure.

See also: Screw
 a book that cost $5,000?" (here's a clue: it involved Michael Jackson) is, like LA itself, too silly to resist.

· Hadley Freeman's The Meaning of Sunglasses: A Guide to (Almost) All Things Fashionable is published by Viking
Copyright 2008 guardian.co.uk
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
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Author:guardian.co.uk
Publication:guardian.co.uk
Date:Jun 28, 2008
Words:602
Previous Article:Dead fish in a bed
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