Friend or foe?

FRIEND GOV. MARK WARNER of Virginia, for an executive order that prohibits Virginia state agencies from discriminating against gays in hiring and promotions. He also bought a new hose for the inevitable cross burnings on his lawn.

FRIEND The REVERENDS LEONARD WALKER and BOB PIERSON, of the Phoenix diocese and Minnesota's St. John's University, respectively, who resigned over the Catholic Church's reaffirmed barring of gay clergy. If this keeps up, Catholic churches will become drive-throughs.

FOE The UNITED ARAB EMIRATES, for arresting gays and threatening them with punishments that could include male hormone treatments. Hmm, testosterone-fueled gay Arabs: homeland security risk or really hot weekend?

FOE U.S. Senate majority leader BILL FRIST, whose AIDS charity paid nearly a half-million dollars in consulting fees to his close political advisers. The brilliant Dr. Frist thought "aids" meant his assistants.