For Best or for worse; The strife of living with an alcoholic partner.

Byline: CATHERINE TURNER

SHE'S been though hell in her turbulent seven-year relationship with footballing hero George Best - but Alex Best has stood by her man. Like Alex, Warwickshire woman "Greta" married an older man who was an alcoholic. Her marriage didn't survive his drinking but the Al-Anon family support group has helped her to deal with the devastating effects. CATHERINE TURNER reports.

EVERY day last week Alex Best kept a bedside vigil at Cromwell Hospital in West London following her husband's 10-hour liver transplant.

When soccer legend George Best married an air hostess 27 years his junior few gave the relationship a chance.

But Alex has always maintained she went into the marriage with her eyes open, saying: "I knew what I was taking on when I got together with George."

The 29-year-old may have been marrying a world-famous football star, but she was also marrying an acute alcoholic.

Seven years on she has been through hell and back but she is still standing by her man.

But despite her upbeat approach to life, living with an alcoholic is no easy task.

Like Alex, Greta (not her real name) married an older man with a serious drink problem.

The office worker, who lives in a Warwickshire village, said: "I cannot comment on how she must be feeling because my husband was never in hospital. But she must need a lot of support especially having to live all this in the public eye.

"George Best is one of those people you think about what could have been if drink had not featured in his life.

"I was a bit young to see him in action. But he was this vibrant person and now you see him looking so gaunt and frail - it makes me sad.

"Alcoholism is a terrible illness.

"From my own experience you do suffer from your partner's drinking."

Ironically Greta met her husband in a pub when she 17.

She said: "I was at college studying art and he was a chef.

"He was very charming, had a bit of money and bought drinks for everyone in the pub. I thought he was a nice, fun guy.

"It was only when I moved in with him that I realised that he drank a bit too much. He would have two bottles of wine a night and then he would go on to shorts.

"When I was 17 it was the fun thing to do. I dropped out of college and all my art equipment just got put in a cupboard. But after a while reality hits you - you have to go to work, drive your car etc."

The couple married when Greta was 21 but their marriage did not get off to a good start.

She said: "He got violent and drunk on our wedding night. He ended up in a fight with one of the guests and the police were called to break it up.

"My husband's drinking got progressively worse six months into the marriage.

"Often he was very violent - physically and emotionally. I became very anti-drinking. Even now I still won't go for a night out with the girls.

"To start with he would go on all-night benders a couple of nights a year but then he used to do it all the time. I was working 6am to 7pm in a holiday park and he would roll in when I was at work. I never saw him.

"Drinking was an escape for him. He liked to live in a false reality, pretending we were very well off. Although we lived in a nice four-bedroom house in a nice area - the reality was we had threadbare carpets."

By the age of 24 Greta was divorced and trying to cope with the devastating effects of living with an alcoholic.

She said: "The crunch came when his work noticed his drinking. One night he was in the bar area and he fell on a young child. He was dismissed.

"I couldn't take it any more and said 'you have to get out'.

"Now I can see alcoholism is an illness. After we split up I came to terms with the fact it was not a healthy relationship.

"My family had no idea of what was going on. I kept it very separate. When they found out they were upset - we are extremely close now."

Facing up to the problem is often one of the hardest tasks.

Alex Best remembers having to pluck up the courage to confront her famous husband about one drinking binge which nearly killed him.

Writing on George's official website, she writes: "George was remorseful and I was tearful when he told me that he couldn't control himself, that he was a prisoner of the disease."

In a bid to find stability, the couple moved back to George's native Northern Ireland.

Alex said at the time: "I thought this would be the perfect tonic for us. And for a while it was. Our lives were going ever so smoothly."

But, as has been well documented, George's attempts to stay off the drink suffered several lapses, resulting finally in him being placed on a waiting list for a liver transplant.

Greta is currently living with a 29-year-old man, a recovering alcoholic, who is studying for a masters degree in English.

She said: "He goes to Alcoholics Anonymous. We were old friends and it was him who suggested that I go along to Al-Anon Family support group. We both support each other.

"I never thought there was anything wrong with me. I thought my life was perfect.

"But I so needed to please other people. I never put myself first.

"I started doing the same for my boyfriend as I did for my husband - every day making him a cooked breakfast and an evening meal, which he didn't really want.

"I had to get help for myself and needed the support of people who knew what I had been though."

Greta first started attending Al-Anon meetings a year ago.

Al-Anon is a support group for friends and families of alcoholics.

It offers ongoing, non-judgemental support and protects the anonymity of all members.

Children - aged 12 to 20 - who grow up with alcoholism can receive support from Alteen.

Greta said: "Al-Anon has meant so much to me. I thought I was the only one living this life. I never realised there were others.

"I discovered that many wives of alcoholics are people pleasers.

"At the first meeting a lady started talking about her experiences. She was totally different to me - older, married with children and quite well- to-do - but she sat there and told my story.

"It made me realise how this illness does affect so many people.

"For an hour-and-a-half I can be truly myself and work through problems.

"It's teaching me to take life at my own pace and take one day at a time. I used to make myself physically sick with worry.

"My art is very important to me. I have started doing abstract painting and sculptures again and am hoping to do an Open University degree.

"Like Alex Best I do feel like I've got an old head on young shoulders but despite everything I am quite happy with the person I am."

There are more than 900 Al-Anon and Alteen groups thoughout the UK and Eire. Call the confidential helpline on 0207 7403 0888 10am-10pm daily.

Worrying times for George's family

FOR husbands and wives of transplant patients, the time spent waiting for a donor organ can be very difficult.

Sally Bufton, transplant co-ordinator at Birmingham's University Hospitals Trust, deals with patients and their families.

"Having a loved one on a waiting list and not knowing if the patient is going to survive the wait can be very difficult and we do find it puts a lot of pressure on relationships and families."

When finally a donor is found, families find themselves relieved and yet anxious at the seriousness of the operation.

Alex Best and George's son Calum endured an anxious 10-hour wait last Tuesday while experts at London's Cromwell Hospital performed the delicate surgery.

Alex said: "I know some people have said he should not have been at the top of the list because his illness was self-inflicted. But everyone deserves a second chance.

"I'm sure that if George continues to use those same powers of mental strength, he can overcome this, the greatest challenge of his life.

"As his wife, it goes without saying that I'll be there by his side, along with his friends and family and all those around the world that love him. But as George knows only too well, ultimately, it's down to him."

CAPTION(S):

DEVASTATING: The effects of alcoholism are not exclusive to the drinker with partners and families feeling the pressure; HIGHS AND LOWS: Alex Best has stuck by her famous-footballer husband through the ups and downs of alcoholism and is hoping he will make a full recovery from his recent liver transplant HARD TIMES: George's son Calum and wife Alex wait for news of George's transplant