First time roasting turkey? Relax, it's only a bird.

Byline: Fresh Approach by Jan Roberts-Dominguez For The Register-Guard

MY GOOD FRIEND Paul Meznarich, a cooking novice, requested a lesson in turkey roasting a while back, so I figured that this would be the year to head back to basics for a Thanksgiving food story.

The rest of you first-timers will benefit from young Paul's lack of poultry profundity. After all, unless you've got a resident grandma nearby, there's a good chance you are feeling pretty adrift in the kitchen right about now.

All you really need is a decent meat thermometer and a what-the-hey attitude. Once they're in the oven, turkeys thrive on neglect. And if dinner guests don't like the results, you can always fall back on the "It's my first turkey" line.

So relax.

As I told Paul, if you believe all the media hype, you'd think that cooking a turkey is even more complicated than programming a VCR. But I'm pretty sure that the pilgrims didn't have a Butterball Turkey Hotline to fall back on - and look how great their feast turned out.

Remember, you're dealing with a stupid bird; an oversized chicken that comes vacuum-wrapped in perfectly clear instructions, for gosh sakes.

So here are the basics of turkey cookery:

If you're starting with a frozen bird, you'll have to thaw it out. Turkeys thaw best in the refrigerator, over a three-day period.

If you don't have three days, you'll have to take the "quick-thaw" approach, since unfrozen turkeys aren't that plentiful. Place the bird (still in its plastic wrapping) in cold water (do not use hot water, which would be unsafe) and allow 30 minutes defrosting time per pound. That means an 8- to 12-pound bird will thaw in 4 to 6 hours. Do not leave a frozen turkey on the counter overnight to defrost. Room temperature allows bacteria to grow.

Don't believe all the goofy stories you read about unique methods for roasting. Turkeys cook best in the oven, or on a grill, or in a smoker or in a pot of boiling oil. (Not in the dishwasher, and certainly not under the hood of your car traveling at 55 mph to Grandma's house.)

Cooking your stuffed turkey at a temperature lower than 325 degrees is unsafe because the turkey does not heat fast enough to destroy bacteria that may be in the raw product.

No matter what football game you'll end up missing by being trapped in the kitchen a couple of hours on Thanksgiving morning, do not be tempted to stuff the bird the night before. This is unsafe.

Everybody knows that turkey is only a portion of the meal. It's the side dishes that either raise the dinner to extravagant heights or have your guests looking over their shoulders in search of the pumpkin pie.

So, along with some basic turkey roasting tips, I'm including a couple of side dish recipes that will make you feel as if your mama's been in the kitchen all along.

How to cook a turkey

Peel off the wrapper and remove neck from body cavity and giblets and liver from neck cavity. Do not rinse the bird in your sink - even if your mama always did. This doesn't get the turkey any cleaner and only increases the chance of spreading germs around your kitchen.

Stuff neck and body cavities lightly with dressing, if desired. If you really pack it in, the dressing will turn out too soggy and may not heat up properly.

Turn wings back to hold neck skin in place. If you had to untuck the legs from their wire anchor, return them to the tucked position. No trussing is necessary.

Place turkey, breast side up, on flat rack in open pan, at least 2 inches deep.

Insert meat thermometer deep into thickest part of thigh next to body. You'll have to jockey it around a bit to make sure you aren't touching bone (which would create a false reading on your thermometer).

Brush skin with oil to prevent skin from drying. Further basting is not necessary.

Roast at 325 degrees. (See turkey roasting timetable). When skin is golden brown, shield breast loosly with lightweight foil to prevent over-browning.

When it gets close to the time as indicated on the timetable, begin checking for doneness. First, I go for visual cues, and consider doneness a possibility if the breast area has sunken slightly, exposing the ridge of bone dividing the two halves. Internal thigh temperature should be 180 to 185 degrees; the breast should read 170 degrees; and the center of stuffing, 160 to 165 degrees. Thigh and drumstick meat should feel soft. When thigh is pierced, juices should be clear, not pink.

Let turkey stand for 15 to 20 minutes for easier carving.

While the turkey is "resting," remove the stuffing. Don't leave the stuffing in the bird because it will stay at an unsafe temperature too long.

Timetable for roasting fresh or thawed turkey in a 325-degree oven

First of all, if your turkey comes with one of those "tender timers" implanted in the flesh, don't be too influenced by it. It's simply not that reliable a gauge.

Here are some general roasting times to guide you.

8 to 12 pounds: unstuffed, 2 3/4 to 3 hours; stuffed, 3 to 3 1/2 hours.

12 to 14 pounds: unstuffed, 3 to 3 3/4 hours; stuffed, 3 1/2 to 4 hours.

14 to 18 pounds: unstuffed, 3 3/4 to 4 1/4 hours; stuffed, 4 to 4 1/4 hours.

18 to 20 pounds: unstuffed, 4 1/4 to 4 1/2 hours; stuffed, 4 1/4 to 4 3/4 hours.

20 to 24 pounds: unstuffed, 4 1/2 to 5 hours; stuffed, 4 3/4 to 5 1/4 hours.

Almond and Sausage Stuffing

Makes enough for one 12- to 15-pound turkey.

About 1/2 pound bulk sausage

1 large yellow onion, chopped

1 1/2 cups sliced celery

1 cup butter

2 packages (7 1/2 to 8 ounces each) stuffing mix (consider using one package of Pepperidge Farm's cornbread stuffing and one package of Pepperidge Farm's herbed stuffing)

1/2 cup chopped parsley

1 cup toasted blanched slivered almonds

1 egg, slightly beaten

1 1/2 cup hot giblet stock or canned chicken broth

In a large pot, crumble and cook sausage over medium-high heat until browned. Tilt the pan and spoon off as much of the grease as you can, but don't go crazy. Add the onion and celery and the butter and continue cooking over medium to medium-low heat until the onions are softened and transparent, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Meanwhile, place the stuffing mix into a very large bowl or deep pot (so you have lots of room for tossing the ingredients - like you're tossing a salad with dressing). Scrape the onion and butter mixture from the pot onto the dressing, tossing with big salad tongs or very large spoons until the crumbs are fairly evenly coated with the butter mixture.

Add the chopped parsley, almonds and egg and toss again, lightly. Sprinkle on the giblet stock and toss again. Pack lightly into turkey just before roasting. If it won't all fit in the bird, put the leftovers in a casserole dish and bake it in the oven with the turkey during the final 45 minutes.

Cheese and Garlic Mashed Potatoes

For a quick version, omit garlic and neufchatel cheese; mash potatoes and add 2 packages (each 4 to 5 ounces) garlic-flavor boursin or rondele cheese (regular or reduced-fat).

1 to 2 tablespoons olive oil

3 heads garlic

4 pounds russet potatoes, peeled

1 package (8 ounce) neufchatel (light cream) cheese or cream cheese

1/2 cup each: regular-strength hot chicken broth and hot milk (they may be heated together in same pot)

Salt and pepper to taste

Pour olive oil into a 9- to 10-inch square pan. Cut garlic heads in half crosswise through plumpest portion and lay, cut side down, on the oil in the pan.

Bake, uncovered, in a 375-degree oven until garlic is golden brown on bottom, about 35 minutes, or until the cloves are soft, and the bottoms are a light golden brown. Slip a spatula under the garlic to release the heads from pan.

Reserve 1/2 head and pluck or squeeze the cloves from remaining garlic. Peel potatoes and cut into about 2-inch chunks. Boil or steam until very tender when pierced with a fork. Drain well and transfer the potatoes to a large bowl. Add the loose garlic cloves and cheese. Mash potatoes using a masher. Add enough of the broth and milk to potatoes to make them creamy.

Season to taste with salt and swirl into a shallow 2- to 2- 1/2 - quart casserole. Serve, garnished with reserved roasted garlic cloves.

(Note: If making ahead, let cool, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and chill up to 1 day. To reheat, place potatoes, uncovered, in a 375-degree oven until hot in center, about 30 minutes; after 15 minutes garnish with reserved garlic. Sprinkle with pepper. Makes 8 servings.

Jan Roberts-Dominguez is a food writer from Corvallis. Her e-mail address is [e-mail].