Family matters.

In reading your issue on gay parenting, I was surprised at how challenging it is for most same-sex couples to adopt children in the United States ["Escape From the Red States," July 19]. My partner of 12 years and I live on Vashon Island near Seattle. When we adopted our twins at birth five years ago, we had no trouble finding a suitable lawyer, were told that all of the Washington State certified social workers who do home studies are neutral to positive on gay families, and that no King County family court judge would rule against us merely because we are a gay couple. And indeed we had no troubles with our adoption on any level.

Furthermore, my partner is a legal resident from Mexico, and our children are biracial. I am Irish-American. We are a visible family, and everywhere we go we are greeted with warmth and inclusion, by our family, friends, and strangers alike.

Some of this is a great statement about Vashon Island. Some of this is about our family. But some of this is about human beings and that when we meet other humans our humanity comes through.

RANDY, FRANCISCO, MARISOL, AND LUTHER MARINEZ Vashon Island, Wash.

I am both an adopted child of my (straight) parents and have adopted my partner's biological daughter. I live in Washington State. Your list of states that allow second-parent adoptions omitted Washington. In Seattle the courts have been doing these adoptions for the last 10 years or so. My own city of Bellingham has, in the last few years, granted second-parent adoptions too. Many other courts in other cities are following suit. In Washington we call them "stepparent" adoptions, and thankfully, wonderfully, we are treated exactly like our straight counterpart families.

JENNIFER WILLNER Bellingham Wash.

You neglected to include Minnesota as a state that allows second-parent adoption. My partner and I adopted an 8-year-old boy two years ago with the assistance of the Children's Home Society of Minnesota. It was a wonderful process, and we were treated and continue to be treated with the utmost respect. We are entering the system to adopt another child in the next few months.

TODD SMITH St. Paul, Minn.

I was troubled by your "Overseas Adoption Primer," in which you state that the cost is worth it because adopting parents "can usually avoid the emotional drama of interacting with the birth mother." When there is no way to connect with or gain much information about the child's original family (including the paternal side), the adopting family is at a distinct disadvantage--having no connection to the child's family of origin means being unable to answer critical questions for the child as he or she grows, and leaving the child with no connection to his or her roots. Second, many international adoption agencies do gather information about the child's family, and connection or even reunion after the child is adopted is possible. As your story about the open adoption ["A Child of Fate and Love"] shows so well, an ongoing connection with the child's original family has benefits for all.

JEANNE HOWARD via the Internet