Faith abandoned, faith renewed.

I was born in 1936 on a farm close to St. Louis, SK, near Prince Albert. I was baptized a Catholic and was well schooled by the Sisters of Providence. From 1951 to 1959 I received higher education from the Oblates of Mary Immaculate, at College St. Jean in Edmonton; College Mathieu in Gravelbourg, SK; and the University of Ottawa. I obtained a B.A. and a B.Ed. In these institutions I was given a strong moral education and was taught the philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas. My faith was fairly strong, and I attended Mass every morning when I began to teach in the (Catholic) public school in Bruno, SK, where I was also the principal.

In 1966, while teaching at the Collegiate in Humboldt, SK, I attended a Bible study offered by a Benedictine monk from St. Peter's Abbey in Muenster, SK. After a few sessions, I elected to quit because the "new insights" he had gained in Europe did not jibe with what I had previously learned. Looking back, I see that this was my first clue that something drastically different was beginning in our Church.

In 1968 my wife Claudette and I and our three children moved to Calgary, where I obtained my M.Ed. in 1970. In those two years I developed extreme self-reliance in matters of faith and morals while studying modern psychology (the relativisitic "I'm OK, you're OK"), which I continued to read up on for several more years. Church attendance and the Sacraments seemed irrelevant.

In only two years I had become comfortable about doing my own thing. Modern psychology appears harmless and even Christian-like, but it brainwashes a person into thinking that there is no need for salvation from one's personal sins and that we are naturally good and able to decide right and wrong for ourselves.

THE LONG JOURNEY BACK

From 1976 to 1989 I was employed by the North Battleford Roman Catholic School District. I now wanted to practise my faith as best I could. Especially because I had a family.

A faithful orthodox Oblate, Fr. Lalonde from Marian Press, was asked to talk on Secular Humanism at St. Thomas College to all the teachers of our system. Because of constant interference from other Oblates he was prevented from making this presentation. What was going on?, I asked myself.

Again, Fr. Matthew Fox, O.P., from California, who criticized the Fathers of the Church such as St. Augustine at a Provincial Conference of Ethics Educators in Saskatoon, was applauded and cheered wildly, while all questions or comments opposing his views were ridiculed. The then Director of our Catholic system later commented that this was not what we had been taught, but two Oblate priests from our system raved about how great a man this presenter was. The slogan of the presenter next day was "Jesus is a reminder, not a Saviour." Again I asked, What was going on? (Years later Matthew Fox abandoned the priesthood and Catholicism to pursue his environmentalism.)

Next, a nun teaching Religious Studies at the University of Regina contradicted much of my basic education about the teachings of the Catholic Church, especially as to how we view sin. No one else besides me questioned her modernist views. Where was all this going?

A tall sexy-looking female high school student dressed in tights performed a jazz dance at the offertory of a Mass for all our high school students celebrated by the Bishop of Prince Albert and all the priests of North Battleford and District, and no known official criticism followed this event. What was going on?

During a student Mass at our John Paul II Collegiate, a Rock-'n-Roll hit (it included the word 'heaven' in it), chosen by our students, approved by a lay staff liturgy leader, was played loudly during Communion. This came after the Collegiate staff and students had been subjected to seminars from a priest from California who insisted that, if there were one positive word in a song, then it was an OK song (he played and analyzed a Tina Turner song as an example); at the end of the seminar, with staff and students, he took the occasion to criticize the Vatican and the Pope. At the end, the Bishop of our diocese complimented and thanked the priest for the good work he was doing. What was going on?

Then again, at a personal retreat in Saskatoon, a nun celebrated the Mass with a priest, and a Jesuit priest conducted Handwriting Analysis training. Where was the spirituality?

There were many other similar events, too numerous to mention, related to other issues such as the feminization of the Church; constant and continuing criticism of the Vatican in the Prairie Messenger, orthodox clergy silently and effectively marginalized (I felt marginalized too); irreverence for the Eucharist, and other poor church behaviour; the First Confession--First Communion issue; and feminist and pro-abortion staff in the Catholic schools What was going on?

RETURN TO OBEDIENCE TO THE CATHOLIC FAITH

I would like to acknowledge some of the factors which helped my return to obedience to the Catholic Faith:

A great six-hour film Jesus of Nazareth, which helped my students a lot too, as we viewed it time and time again, till the principal told me not to use it any more.

A courageous editor of Our Family magazine was an inspiration in his articles until he was removed by his Superiors (later on this magazine went belly up).

A loyal dedicated pastor at St. Joseph's Parish who passed out copies of Humanae Vitae and Challenge Magazine after Mass.

A faithful Lay Apostolate, Catholics United for the Faith, which distributed Catholic documentation.

The books Psychological Seduction (1993) and Why Johnny Doesn't Know the Difference Between Right and Wrong (1994), by the enlightened psychologist, William Kirk, who had freed himself from the same errors I had imbibed.

The publications of Human Life International, the pro-life organization, opening my eyes to moral-marital-family attacks.

Warren Carroll's books on the history of the Church, which helped me understand the Church as a "jewel" which has remained so throughout the last 2000 years.

The magazine The Report www.report.ca, providing a wealth of information.

A resourceful organization, The St. Joseph Canonical Foundation, with its newsletter Christifidelis, analyzing abuses in the Church.

I have many questions and decisions to think about, but I have now returned to an active life as a Catholic, no longer passive and dumb as before.