FOX REALITY'S PORN STARS JUST BARELY ENTERTAINING.Byline: David Kronke Television Critic You'd think that if someone went to all the trouble to cook up something as cynical and yet so deviously inspired as ``My Bare Lady My Bare Lady is a United Kingdom-based reality TV show that aired on the Fox Reality television channel. The series followed four American female porn stars as they took acting lessons and performed in scenes from classic drama alongside British actors in London's West End. ,'' they wouldn't muck it up so much with the sort of boringly familiar reality-show tropes that appear in virtually every other competition show. ``My Bare Lady'' (a brassiere is tastefully slung over its logo) features porn stars competing for the opportunity to go to London and humiliate themselves in the world of legitimate theater, a wickedly sinister conceit that allows viewers to both ogle o·gle v. o·gled, o·gling, o·gles v.tr. 1. To stare at. 2. To stare at impertinently, flirtatiously, or amorously. v.intr. and laugh at essentially clueless clue·less adj. Lacking understanding or knowledge. clueless Adjective Slang helpless or stupid Adj. 1. young women. And yet, tonight's episode hedges its bets, with a lot of uninteresting folderol fol·de·rol also fal·de·ral n. 1. Foolishness; nonsense. 2. A trifle; a gewgaw. [From a nonsense refrain in some old songs.] Noun 1. that every reality show in existence foists upon its viewers: the farewell montage to the cattle-call losers, whom we don't know or care about in the first place; the perfectly unrevealing portraits of the winners, who seem practically interchangeable; their giddy squeals as they meet at the airport, and further giddy squeals as they move into their posh temporary digs, and their further giddy squeals -- You get the idea. Tonight's installment offers about two minutes of laughs as the aspiring thespians mangle mangle - Used similarly to mung or scribble, but more violent in its connotations; something that is mangled has been irreversibly and totally trashed. lines from ``Romeo and Juliet Romeo and Juliet star-crossed lovers die as teenagers. [Br. Lit.: Romeo and Juliet] See : Death, Premature Romeo and Juliet archetypal star-crossed lovers. [Br. Lit. .'' One contestant confesses to never having heard of it (good work, American educational system!); another professes the belief it was written by a woman. Even a network as brazen as Fox Reality can't fully exploit the show's porn element, though they try wanly with montages of the women re-creating Meg Ryan's big deli scene in ``When Harry Met Sally'' and listing the titles of the films they've appeared in. Future episodes, as the women begin rehearsing for their Shakespearean debuts (``As You Like It,'' indeed), may perk up as they realize how in over their heads they are, but tonight's episode isn't as clever or as saucy as it needs to be to hook viewers. David Kronke, (818) 713-3638 david.kronke@dailynews.com MY BARE LADY - Two stars What: Reality competition in which porn stars compete to appear in legit le·git adj. Slang Legitimate. theater on the London stage. No, seriously. Where: Fox Reality Channel. When: 9 tonight (perhaps different for satellite subscribers). In a nutshell: Fish-in-a-barrel time. |
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