FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE MIEKA SMILES.

A TYPICAL night in for my husband and I is far from exciting.

After I get in from work and demolish whatever food he has produced for me, we will retire to our set places on the sofa. I could draw you a diagram of the exact couch positions that we sit in each and every night. In fact there are even indents to guide us there.

Then it''s TV time. He''ll try and get Sky Sports on, I''ll try and get E! on. But as both of us refuse to watch each other''s channels we normally end up watching something neither of us really wants to watch, such as A Place in the Sun.

We might then strike up a conversation. Last night it was about the contents of our freezer.

Me: Alexis and Nathan are coming around on Friday night. They''ve suggested pizza. I''m sure we''ve got a Morrisons' mushroom one in the freezer.

Him: Not anymore we haven''t. I''ve chucked it out.

Pause for dramatic effect.

Me: You what?! You what?!

We''re trying to save money and you go chucking out frozen pizzas? Him: It was an executive decision. The Micro Chips had nowhere to go and I wasn''t going to chuck them out now, was I? I think you get the gist... Next up I might have a little look through his mobile phone messages.

Him: What on earth are you doing? Me: Just catching up.

Him: Catching up? What would you do if I decided to ''catch up'' on your text messages? Me: That''s different.

After the best part of a bottle of wine (me) and couple of Stellas (him), it''s time to think about a takeaway - the highlight of any night in front of the telly. Hmm... Chinese or Indian? When do you think it''ll be here? They said half an hour didn''t they? It''s been well over that, I say as I pace the floor like a ravenous beast.

Him: I''ll ring them. Just as Chris gets through to them, our takeaway angel arrives. Chris pays up and spends what seems like a lifetime faffing around with plates and trays. If it was up to me I''d just shovel it down my throat straight from source.

Bellies full, it''s bedtime.

Blinds shut, alarm on, another non-eventful night in the Smiles household. But, if you ask me, it beats a night out on the tiles any day. And then some.

* Find out more about the ups and downs of Mieka's marriage at www.journallive.co.uk/blog