FOR AUSSIES, TO SWIM IS DIVINE.

SYDNEY, Australia - Some day, punter Tom Rouen might return home from a Denver Broncos game at Mile High Stadium and tell his soon-to-be wife, ``Honey, you've never heard such cheering.'' And Amy Van Dyken will be able to look him straight in the eye and reply, ``Yes, I have.''

The way the late baseball player Joe DiMaggio was deified in the U.S. and the way his late wife, the comely actress Marilyn Monroe, was exalted by U.S. troops during a tour of Korea; that's pretty much the same reception Van Dyken and the other competitors received today when the Olympic swimming competition got under way at the Sydney International Aquatic Centre.

Honestly, you've got to love a place where Dave Nilsson, a catcher most recently with the Milwaukee Brewers, can walk down the streets unnoticed while his countryman, freestyler Ian Thorpe, can't go anywhere without being mobbed.

For anyone stateside who has made a major investment in any of the so- called minor sports, turnabout is fair dinkum. Revenge of the nerds, mates.

``It's unreal how huge swimming is here,'' said Kaitlin Sandeno, a 17- year-old from Orange County who clocked a personal best in the 400-meter individual medley in the first swim by an American in the 27th Summer Games.

Sandeno's time of 4 minutes, 40.89 seconds qualified her third for tonight's final, behind Yana Klochkova of Ukraine (4:37.64) and Yasuko Tajima of Japan (4:40.35).

Three Olympic records fell in the morning preliminaries. Jenny Thompson set one in the 100-meter butterfly (57.66), only to see the Netherlands' Inge de Bruijn better it with a 57.60 two heats later. And in what was easily the most impressive swim of the first session, the 17-year-old Thorpe swam 3:44.65 in the 400 freestyle with the greatest of ease.

He emerged from the dive with the lead and had 1.5 seconds on his heat after the first 100. Chad Carvin of Laguna Hills, swimming in the heat before Thorpe, posted a 3:48.42 to qualify fifth for tonight's final.

The crowd went crazy during Thorpe's swim. So many flashbulbs popped when he was introduced it brought memories of Mark McGwire stepping to home plate during his power surge in 1998. And unlike in the U.S., the fans didn't have to be prompted by the announcer to know a good swim was developing.

``They know splits,'' said Van Dyken, who provided a sizzling one when she anchored the women's 400 freestyle relay in 54.40, the best split of the morning, to lead the U.S. to the top seed in the finals. ``They know a time that's great. It's quite flattering to be treated like the best sportsmen. I'm a big show-off, so I love (the attention).''

While the U.S. team was training in Brisbane, Sandeno went shopping with a couple of teammates. As soon as the sales assistants realized they were waiting on members of the U.S. Olympic swimming team, Sandeno & Co. got a taste of what it must be like to be Nicole Kidman. Or Jason Kidd.

``We got top treatment,'' Sandeno said, shaking her head. She seemed a little sheepish about it.

The fact Sandeno was flabbergasted that anyone would want to pamper her is all the more reason to revel in the Aussies' sporting priorities. After all, when was the last time Ryan Leaf, Isaiah Rider, Kevin Brown or (your favorite athlete's name here) acted the least bit embarrassed to be treated better than the rest of the population?

No wonder seven of the eight U.S. swimmers who competed in individual events today placed among the top eight. It doesn't take a village to raise the level of performance. But it certainly helps.

``In the U.S., we're way down the ladder in popularity,'' said two-time Olympian Tom Dolan, who will swim the 400 I.M. on Sunday. ``It's neat to come over here where swimming is the No. 1 sport. We're thriving on it. That's helped us go faster knowing we're going to be the No. 1 show.''

Makes sense.

So what's the Dodgers' excuse?

G'DAY FROM AUSTRALIA

``Do you didgeridoo?`` The mate asking the question inside the grounds of Sydney Olympic Park was holding a long, tubular thing. I must have looked flustered because he quickly explained a didgeridoo is a musical instrument the Aborigines use to accompany their ancestral songs.

Oh, right. I'm a wake-up to (aware of) that.

The instrument is 3-feet long and made of wood, with a waxed mouthpiece. When played correctly it produces a deep, resonant sound - as opposed to the warble I managed when I gamely gave it a try.

The music matters in Aboriginal songs because the words often are incomprehensible. Their songs are intrinsically linked to the worship of ``creation ancestors'' who Aborigines believe are responsible for the cosmos.

Catch ya' later,

Karen Crouse

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Box: G'DAY FROM AUSTRALIA (See text)