FOR ADULTS ON THE BRINK, AN 'OLD SCHOOL' SOLUTION.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

EVERY almost-middle-age guy's secret dream, to revert back to the carefree college life without that nasty necessity of studying, is realized with a few good laughs, many missed opportunities for more and minimal coherence in ``Old School.'' And then, weirdly, it encourages things like learning and acting your age.

Directed by Todd Phillips - who with this, his documentary ``Frat House'' and his first feature, ``Road Trip,'' seems caught in a loop of creative immaturity himself - the movie puts three friends in their 30s in charge of a pickup fraternity on the edge of an ill-defined college campus.

The buddies have minor motivations, more like urges, really, for doing this. Mitch (Luke Wilson, cast for his blandness) came home from a business trip unexpectedly to find his live-in girlfriend cavorting with a blindfolded, naked couple. Ergo, he needed a new pad, although as one of his pals points out, is such a willingly adventurous mate someone to be left in order to pursue 19-year-olds?

Anyway, this coincides with the wedding of Frank, formerly known as Frank the Tank, and played by ``Saturday Night Live's'' Will Ferrell. He's basically a flamboyant idiot who thinks he's ready for domestication but isn't. After Frank's understandably uncomprehending bride spots him trying to revive the streaking craze following Mitch's first beer blast, Frank needs a new home, too.

The one member of the trio who doesn't have to relocate is the driving force behind their whole Greek scheme. Beanie (Vince Vaughn, here working his ``Swingers'' transmission in lower gear) is a successful electronics retailer, father of two little kids and more-or-less happily married (to ``The King of Queens' '' Leah Remini, wasted). Beanie's the one who talks responsible Mitch into opening his house to a couple of loser students and some sad older cases who want to join the frat. But why is never clear; even given the chance with an eager coed, Beanie remains resolutely faithful to his wife. Perhaps he just represents the proposition that loud, drunken parties and ridiculous hazing rituals really are important to men in their 30s.

Anyway, the film was produced by, among many others, Ivan Reitman. So was ``Animal House.'' Therefore, unimaginatively, what little discernible plot there is devolves into the efforts of a hypocritical, hung-up dean (Jeremy Piven) to shut the fraternity down. This leads, paradoxically and inexplicably, to the guys actually having to prepare for a series of tests. Just as head-scratching, a pointless cameo appearance by James Carville as himself is also involved.

But back to the expected: Nubile young women remove their shirts, Ferrell does ditto with his pants, and the one obese black kid who pledges is often employed as a default visual gag. Assorted other females (Ellen Pompeo, Juliette Lewis, Perrey Reeves, ``24'' nymphet Elisha Cuthbert) are given speaking parts, but nothing more than fantasy figures to embody.

But while those items and so much more are offered up to offend mature sensibilities, the irrepressible Bluto lurking inside every grown man - well, the Belushi in me, anyway - got good chuckles out of the sequences involving the child's birthday and a tranquilizer dart, and an instructional session about new uses for uncooked vegetables.

Those scenes, a few amusing musical interludes and one terrific-way-to-go death sequence notwithstanding, ``Old School'' certainly puts you in a nostalgic mood for the never-thought-it-had-any craftsmanship of the National Lampoon classic. Which was evidently the filmmakers' intent, though probably not in the way it actually works out.

OLD SCHOOL - Two and one half stars

(R: nudity, sex, language, substance abuse, mild violence)

Starring: Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Jeremy Piven, Ellen Pompeo, Juliette Lewis, Leah Remini.

Director: Todd Phillips.

Running time: 1 hr. 30 min.

Playing: Citywide.

In a nutshell: Disjointed frat comedy with a twist that never quite clicks: Three guys in their 30s start a campus party house. Some funny stuff, a little sexy stuff - and a lot of stuff you wish had been cleverer.