FIRST YOU WALK THE WALK EMPATHETIC MEN GO THE FULL MILE WEARING HIGH HEELS.

Byline: Sonia Giordani Staff Writer

LAKE BALBOA - They say you don't really understand a person until you've walked a mile in her shoes.

Dozens of men turned out Saturday to try to do just that, donning high heels for a mile-long walk around Lake Balboa in the second annual Men's March to Stop Rape.

``Violence against women does not just affect women,'' said Frank Baird, clinical supervisor of the Valley Trauma Center, the only rape crisis center serving the San Fernando and Santa Clarita valleys.

``Men are hurt when the women they love are raped. Men are hurt when they try to develop relationships with women who have been raped,'' Baird said.

Baird came up with the idea for the annual men's march to raise awareness about sexual assault. The event also raises money for critical services and programs offered through the Valley Trauma Center.

Based in Van Nuys, the center responded to more than 800 calls for assistance from emergency rooms handling sexual assault and related cases in the region last year - more than any other in the state.

The trauma center runs a 24-hour hotline, training for rape-crisis counselors and programs to assist rape survivors through recovery. The center's staff serve as advocates in court and other forums.

But the facility operates on a budget of less than $1 million, mostly from state funding, and is trying to draw more support through fund-raising efforts.

``Most rape is committed by men, but most men don't commit rape and don't want it to happen,'' said Patti Dengler, executive director of the Valley Trauma Center.

``So often, the discussion is about what women can do to stop rape. But the question is what can men do to stop rape,'' she said. ``It starts with good men taking a stand.''

One out of every three women is sexually assaulted by age 18, organizers said.

But young men fare little better. One of every five is raped by age 18.

``Unfortunately, it's still considered taboo for many men to talk about. And they share a lot of the guilt and blame that women suffer,'' said Elden Owens, a Woodland Hills man who survived sexual abuse as a child.

``I hope this march helps bring more attention to the fact that rape is something that still occurs everyday and that victims everywhere have to try to go on with their lives.''

Part of that recovery is in finding support - and sometimes in helping other survivors pick up the pieces.

Farhana Ali said she survived sexual abuse as a child and now volunteers at the Trauma Center to try to reach other women, men and children.

``We want to make sure they know they're not alone and that it's not their fault,'' Ali said. ``And we want them to know they shouldn't feel crazy (in) going through all the aftereffects of sexual abuse - depression, anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks.''

More than 50 men and women joined forces for the march.

After slipping into their stilettos - some men had special-ordered size 15 in women's shoes - the group wobbled around Lake Balboa. Ice packs were on hand at the end of the walk for the men to soothe their feet.

Michael Bedwell wore black leather heeled go-go boots.

``I went to Cathy Jean and bought them, 50 percent off,'' said Michael Bedwell, a Northridge resident who has been a volunteer counselor at the trauma center for more than two years.

Bedwell, who said he got involved after a family member was sexually assaulted, said rape is not just a woman's issue but a human issue, and that men have a responsibility to be part of a larger discussion to stop assault.

Standing in his heeled boots at the end of the walk, Bedwell said the march is a step in the right direction to raise awareness.

``This is a small price to pay,'' he said.

CAPTION(S):

3 photos

Photo:

(1) Don Bunnell of Pacoima dons high heels Saturday for a one-mile walk with a few dozen men wearing women's shoes at Balboa Lake in Encino - an effort to understand how a woman feels as a potential victim of sexual assault and rape.

(2) Dan Levin of Santa Monica walks the walk Saturday at Lake Balboa.

(3) Brandon Beckman gets his shoe adjusted by friend Gigi Henderson at the Men's March to Stop Rape event Saturday.

Eric Grigorian/Special to the Daily News