FINE `ART'; HUMOR ABOUNDS AS FRIENDS SHOW THEIR TRUE COLORS.

Byline: Rob Lowman Daily News Entertainment Editor

While you're standing in line to get into the van Gogh exhibit at LACMA, strike up a conversation with your companion(s) on the question ``What is art?'' (Don't worry - you'll have plenty of time.) Whether you're still talking to one another by the time you've fought the crowd for a look at ``The Potato Eaters'' will say volumes about your friendship.

Discussing art, after all, is a slippery slope. Talk in absolutes, and you're likely to fall on your ass - or sound like one. Inevitably, whenever you express an opinion about art, you are, in essence, expressing something about yourself, too, no matter how sophisticated, educated or erudite you may be.

That is at the heart of ``Art'' at the Doolittle Theatre in Hollywood, Yasmina Reza's Tony Award-winning play that is every bit as good as the hype - witty and wonderfully acted and staged.

The art in this case is a 5-by-4 foot painting that Serge (Victor Garber), a dermatologist, has bought for 200,000 francs ($40,000). A pretty pricey purchase even for a successful dermatologist, but when his friend Marc (Alan Alda), a successful aeronautical engineer, sees it, he is stunned. The painting is all white. Well, it does have these diagonal lines that they argue about. Marc ridicules Serge for buying it, for spending so much money and thus validating what he considers garbage. Serge shoots back that Marc is an enemy of modernism, a nostalgia merchant. But the argument becomes more personal: Marc, who has been a mentor to Serge, feels betrayed.

Eventually, both turn to their mutual friend, Yvan (Alfred Molina), sort of the class clown of this middle-age trio. Unlike his friends, he has never found professional success (only recently venturing into the stationery business through connections with his bride-to-be). Unlike his nattily dressed pals, Yvan is rumpled and stressed out by the upcoming wedding. More eager to please his friends than express an opinion, Yvan is uncomfortable being drawn into what he sees as a silly quarrel. Of course, his attempts to smooth things over only meet with contempt from Serge and Marc.

It becomes clear after a while that the argument is only on its surface about the dynamics of Serge's white painting and its worth. ``Art'' is more about the dynamics of friendship and its values.

``Art'' was originally written in French, and the trio are Parisians. And despite its Americanized translation, some critics have argued that no trio of red-blooded American men would be caught dead arguing about the aesthetics of modern art. But change the subject to fishing, and it's the same dynamic - Serge with his new gizmos and lures, Marc with an old-fashioned bamboo pole and Yvan who likes to be out on the water because it's a respite from the chaos of his life and just wants his friends to quit rocking the boat.

But making the spat about a work of art (or whether it is or not), takes the play beyond mere male competitiveness and rituals. On stage, Marc sits in a Queen Anne-style chair, Serge a modern, angular model and Yvan in an overstuffed armchair to define their territories. The aesthetics of art are a secular religion to Marc and Serge, and, as with all people with belief systems, much of who they are is invested in them, which is why Marc can't abide Serge's purchase and why Serge can't stand Marc's inflexibility. Yvan is the agnostic of the group. He's not sure what art is. He's not even sure what he likes.

While Reza provides the actors with a laugh-filled, razor-sharp script, there is no question there are three artists up on the stage. Under the direction of Matthew Warchus, the trio of Alda, Garber and Molina simply sparkle with impeccable comic timing. Reza couldn't have written it as funny as these three make it. There is one scene in which the three - sitting around trying to calm themselves after a heated argument - are eating olives, spitting out the pits and putting them into an ashtray. The night has already been the pits, and they've been chewing each other up anyway. The nonverbal scene goes on for a couple of minutes and is hilarious. There is another scene in which Molina spews out his personal problems for what seems like five minutes. After a while, you have no idea what he's saying, but it doesn't matter. It's just an amazing bit.

As I was leaving ``Art'' - after the curtain calls and standing ovations - a middle-age woman turned to her male companion (presumably her husband) and said, ``I know which one you are.''

``What do you mean?'' he countered.

``I know which of the three you are.'' And then, seeing my interest, she said, ``We'll talk about this at home.''

And that's ``Art,'' a great theater experience you can take home.

One more thing: ``Art'' - though, of course, I'm opening myself to criticism - is art.

THE FACTS

What: ``Art.''

Starring: Alan Alda, Victor Garber and Alfred Molina.

Behind the scenes: Written by Yasmina Reza. Translated by Christopher Hampton. Directed by Matthew Warchus.

Where: James A. Doolittle Theatre, 1615 N. Vine St., Hollywood.

When: Performances 8 p.m. Tuesdays through Fridays, 2 and 8 p.m. Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays; through March 14.

Tickets: $20 to $60. Call [phone].

Our rating: Four Stars.

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Photo

PHOTO Victor Garber, left, Alfred Molina and Alan Alda re-create their Broadway roles in Yasmina Reza's Tony-winning play ``Art.''