FIGHTING BACK WITH LOVE AND KINDNESS; MOTHER OF 8 SHINES IN FACE OF ADVERSITY.

Byline: Dennis McCarthy 

Her name is Estelle Marquez and she is a remarkable woman. For most of her 45 years, life has spit in her face and driven her to her knees, but she keeps getting up and fighting back the only way she knows how.

With love and kindness. The tools of the humble and poor.

No matter how low down and mean life gets, no matter what kind of dirty tricks, tragedy or misfortune it continues to throw her way, it still can't beat Estelle Marquez.

She just shakes off the blows and counterpunches life with more love and kindness and keeps fighting back with the only weapons she possesses.

``When I sat down recently to talk to her about her background, I kept thinking after every story she told me, `this can't get any worse,' but it did,'' said Lidia Castillo, fund-raising chairperson for Meet Each Need with Dignity, a nonprofit organization helping indigent families living in the northeast San Fernando Valley.

Hard-luck stories are nothing new around MEND's Pacoima office. The wonderful people who volunteer here have heard them all.

But none compare, they say, to the story of the quiet, humble woman in the next room, volunteering to stay late Monday to clean up after handing out emergency food supplies to more than 70 families.

Families like her own.

The two women had never met before, but Estelle had a hug for Lidia when she walked through the front door of the small, two-bedroom home in Pacoima recently. That hug said a lot about the woman living here.

``She proudly pointed to her secondhand, 8-foot-long, orange, crushed velour sofa, which she had received from MEND, and asked that I have a seat,'' Lidia said.

As a young girl she had always dreamed about living in America, Estelle began, but as a young woman who had finally arrived, she soon learned how lonely it was to live away from your family.

Estelle eventually married, had four children of her own and took in her sister's child as well. Then the dark side of life showed up again to send her to her knees. It took her husband in a car accident this time, leaving a young mother with five children to raise.

Three years ago, Estelle lost her sister, who had three small children.

``Once again, Estelle stepped up to the challenge, and took in her sister's children as her own,'' Lidia said. ``She is 45 now and raising eight children alone.''

As Lidia looked around the small, two-bedroom home, she noticed an empty wheelchair beside the sofa. It was for her 16-year-old son, Estelle said.

He and his cousin had finished cutting lawns to make some money a few years ago, and were on their way to get hamburgers for the whole family.

``When they didn't return after a few hours, Estelle began to get worried,'' Lidia said. ``Finally, the phone rang.''

It was the dark side of life checking in again, reminding her how cruel it could be.

``A police officer said the boys had been walking home behind a man and a little boy when they were all sprayed with bullets from a drive-by shooting.''

Her son lie paralyzed in the next room as she talked. On another bed was her nephew, unable to work or lead a normal life due to severe liver damage he suffered from the two gunshot wounds he received.

The two older boys who could help Estelle by bringing in some money and spell her in taking care of the other six small children in this home were both now totally disabled, and needing her more than ever.

``Any or all of these adversities would crumble the average person's resolve, but not Estelle's,'' Lidia said. ``Despite the rigorous demands at home, she still insists on volunteering nine hours a week at MEND's food center.

``She says MEND helped her family with food, clothing, furniture and Christmas toys for the children, and she has a responsibility to help us any way she can.''

So three mornings a week, instead of seeking out a quiet spot to escape the tremendous pressure and responsibility of caring for eight children alone, Estelle Marquez comes to volunteer her time in a noisy, crowded room where babies scream and little children run around wildly while their mothers wait to be given emergency food supplies.

And after everyone has left, she stays on to clean off counter tops, dust desks, sweep the floor and straighten the chairs in the waiting room.

This is what you do when you're fighting the dark side of life with the only weapons you possess. Kindness and love.