FIGHT BACK : COMMON-SENSE RULES FOR MAKING SAFE INVESTMENTS.

Byline: David Horowitz 

In a topsy-turvy investment world, there are too many choices and investments for most of us to check out and decide upon. It has become a rip-off artist's horn of plenty to deal with unaware and confused people who have money they want to put to work for them. So, I've put together a list of rules in order to make investing safer.

Fool's gold 

1. There's no such thing as a sure thing.

2. The greater the potential return, the greater the real risk.

3. The less you know about an investment, the more likely you are to become a victim of investment fraud.

4. Hang up on any unsolicited telephone calls asking you to invest in anything.

5. Throw away any unsolicited direct mail or fliers asking you to invest in anything sight unseen.

6. Don't give your Social Security or credit card numbers over the phone to any caller unless you initiated the call.

7. Ask yourself: If that investment is so good, why is it being shared with total strangers?

8. If you're tempted by the caller's pitch, get all the details in writing. Then, check it out thoroughly. Call back one or two days later when you have had an opportunity to be less emotional and have checked it out with a local investment adviser.

9. Don't be fooled by claims that you have to act immediately or miss the opportunity. There is always time to think over a legitimate investment.

10. There is reliable information available on investing in coins, stamps, precious metals, oil and gas leases, precious gems and antiques. Reputable dealers will be happy to provide you with expert advice. Remember, when in doubt, always check it out.

Plastic bottles

So many liquid products come in plastic containers that I never concern myself with even thinking that plastic can break. I learned the reality when a half-full, large container of Aunt Jemima Butter Light syrup dropped about three feet off a shelf in my kitchen.

It split open as it hit the floor, and the sticky stuff flew all over.

It covered parts of the linoleum floor, splattered on other grocery items and stuck to my pants and shoes like it was in search of pancakes or French toast.

I checked the syrup bottle out, and it had split on a seam. Was this a manufacturing defect?

There was no warning on the label about any possible plastic hazard, but there was a customer toll-free number to call. I called, and got an instant and pleasant reply from a friendly voice at the Quaker Oats Co. Consumer Response Center in Chicago.

I told my story and described where the plastic syrup bottle had split. I offered to pack the sticky remains and send it back for an autopsy and forensics exam.

The rep said that wasn't necessary. Should I return it to the market? She said no. She took my name and address, thanked me, and said I would get a report and a coupon to exchange for more Aunt Jemima Butter Light Syrup.

The $3 store coupon arrived a week later, along with an apology for the incident.

It showed Quaker Oats cared about what happened.

The consumer response rep wrote that the incident had been reported to Quaker's ``Quality Assurance Department.'' What made me chuckle was a paragraph in the letter that sounded like it came out of a home economics book. I would like to share that part with you.

``Even though plastic is not expected to break, it can if it is dropped! The bottle is also more likely to break if it is cold. Although consumers' storage preferences vary, it is not necessary to refrigerate syrup.''

Maybe this information should be printed on the label.