FEELING MORE WELCOME : MALES IN CHILD CARE FINDING SOME SAFETY IN GROWING NUMBERS.

Byline: Annie Nakao San Francisco Examiner 

When Michael Jones took classes in early childhood education at San Francisco State University, he was typically the only male in the room.

He got the same ``funny looks'' when he began working as a preschool teacher in the city 16 years ago.

``I've even had parents who didn't want me to pick up their kids,'' he said. ``Once they got to know me, though, they relaxed.''

Now Jones is one of five males on the 20-member staff at Visitacion Valley Family School. It's a good ratio, given that most centers typically have no more than one or two male teachers.

Teachers like Jones are still rare in a field where males in general - be they staff or parents - still feel uneasy and often unwelcome.

``Most men in child-care centers, both parents and staff, tend not to feel very comfortable,'' said Stan Seiderman, acting director of the Fairfax-San Anselmo Children's Center. ``It's a woman's field. And because of that, the motivation of men who want to work with children is questioned.''

But breakthroughs have been made. On Wednesday, some 50 male teachers at child-care centers across the Bay Area will meet at Fort Mason's Firehouse for a daylong conference honoring men in child-care work.Sponsored by the 2-year-old Bay Area Male Involvement Network, the conference is aimed at bringing together men working in child-care centers, Head Start programs and family day-care homes, and students of early childhood education programs, to discuss work issues unique to men in the field.Seiderman, head of the network, estimated that 200 men work in center-based child care in the Bay Area.

Most are isolated from one another and may be ``the only guy in the place,'' he said. ``They feel somewhat lonely. There's also the added problem of suspicion from parents that women teachers don't have. Parents add to that level of discomfort. So we're working as a group to overcome that.''

And it's not just male teachers who are the focus. The network also works to make men - fathers, grandfathers, uncles and boyfriends of mothers - feel welcome in child-care centers and become involved in children's lives.

``You start with the idea that child-care agencies tend to be women-oriented,'' said Seiderman. ``So men who bring their children or pick them up tend to stay in the background. Let the women handle it. They don't feel it's their place. We think that's a bunch of baloney.''

The network, comprising a coalition of 13 child-care agencies in the Bay Area, is one of several attempts nationwide to involve men in children's lives. It is funded by the Fatherhood Project of the New York-based Family and Work Institute and the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation.Men have long generated news as ``deadbeat dads.'' Yet the impact of fathers and other men in children's lives has now become the focus of family research and public policy.

In 1993, Vice President Al Gore moderated a national conference on fathers and families. As a result, Fathernet, an electronic bulletin board, and a mentoring program called Father to Father were created.President Clinton also has required every federal agency to examine its policies to encourage fathers' involvement with their children.

Granted, some men don't choose to get involved with their children, preferring to leave it to mothers.

``Of course we are just as much to blame as society is,'' Seiderman said. ``We have to change that. But for men, it's not our traditional field, which is to go out and work, chop down the trees, bring home the food. To ask men now to come into this field and nurture the children and `caretake' is a little bit different. And we need to be encouraged. And get some of the barriers out of the way.''Sometimes, those barriers are as simple as the enrollment forms, which only have space for one address, typically the mom's.

``It's pretty simple,'' Seiderman said. ``You revise the form. Then you make sure he gets the information.''

Strategies vary. For the past 16 years, Seiderman's center has hosted a monthly men's Saturday breakfast, at which men cook and eat breakfast with their kids, share experiences and help fix up the center or do other chores. The men's group also cooks for the center's camp-out.

Last Saturday, Seiderman and a group of men - most of them fathers, though one was an uncle - cleaned up the grounds after breakfast. The draw: helping the school and getting support from other parents.

``You build a sense of friendship,'' said parent Pedro Orantes. ``You feel comfortable talking about your life here.''

At the Ephesians Children's Development Center in Berkeley, a cadre of fathers and male neighbors went down to City Hall to push for the cleanup of a nearby park that was a drug hangout.

``We rely a lot on that kind of advocacy and support,'' said Ephesians director Newt McDonald.To McDonald, it's just as important to the men.

``My concern is that men simply take ownership of their responsibility to deal with children and their needs,'' he said.

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