FEATURE/Funniest Lawyer Jokes: Results of a Reader's Digest Challenge.PLEASANTVILLE, N.Y.--(BUSINESS WIRE FEATURES)--Oct. 21, 1998--Reader's Digest recently challenged visitors to its website, www.readersdigest.com, to send in their funniest lawyer jokes  This article or section needs copy editing for grammar, style, cohesion, tone and/or spelling.You can assist by [ editing it] now. . "We struck a nerve when we asked for lawyer jokes," said Tom Lashnits, assistant managing editor at Reader's Digest Reader's Digest U.S.-based monthly magazine. Founded by DeWitt and Lila Wallace, it was first published in 1922 as a digest of articles of topical interest and entertainment value condensed from other periodicals. magazine. "Our readers sent in thousands of submissions. It makes me glad I'm an editor and not a lawyer." Here are three favorites from Laughter, the Best Medicine(R) , in the October issue of Reader's Digest, on sale at newsstands now. For more humor humor, according to ancient theory, any of four bodily fluids that determined man's health and temperament. Hippocrates postulated that an imbalance among the humors (blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile) resulted in pain and disease, and that good health was , visit "Joke of the Day" at www.readersdigest.com. -- An attorney was on his death-bed in the hospital. When a friend came to visit, he found the lawyer frantically fran·tic adj. 1. Highly excited with strong emotion or frustration; frenzied: frantic with worry. 2. leafing through the Bible. "What are you doing?" the visitor asked. The sick lawyer replied, "Looking for Looking for In the context of general equities, this describing a buy interest in which a dealer is asked to offer stock, often involving a capital commitment. Antithesis of in touch with. loopholes." -- Contributed by Mary Bann -- Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times. "Since we installed our new satellite navigation system satellite navigation system satellite n → système m de navigation par satellite ," bragged one, "we've cut our emergency response time by ten percent." "Not bad," the second paramedic par·a·med·ic n. A person who is trained to give emergency medical treatment or assist medical professionals. paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average time by 20 percent." "That's nothing!" said the third paramedic. "Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam Noun 1. bar exam - an examination conducted at regular intervals to determine whether a candidate is qualified to practice law in a given jurisdiction; "applicants may qualify to take the New York bar examination by graduating from an approved law school"; "he passed , we've cut our emergency response time in half!" -- Contributed by Paul Carreiro -- Question: Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Answer: Because deep down, they really are good people. -- Contributed by John Cordeiro Reader's Digest welcomes and pays for short humor contributions. Four-hundred dollars goes to every true, unpublished story selected by the editors for the following departments: -0-
Virtual Hilarity -- computer humor
Tales Out of School -- funny stories about life in high
school
All in a Day's Work -- humorous happenings on the
job.
Life in These United States -- anecdotes illustrating
humorous or appealing sidelights on the American scene
Campus Comedy -- anecdotes connected with college
experiences.
Humor in Uniform -- amusing stories about life in the armed
services.
Contributions can be e-mailed to laughlines@readersdigest.com (remember to include your name, address, phone number and date) or sent to the appropriate department at Reader's Digest, Box 100, Pleasantville, NY 10572-0100. Reader's Digest magazine is available by subscription ($24.47/year) by calling toll-free 1-888-DIGEST2 (1-888-344-3782). Reader's Digest is read by nearly 100 million people around the world each month. |
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