FAULTY FOOTBALL SUITS FLOP OF A LOCAL SEASON.

Byline: Kevin Modesti

Fire the coach!

Both schools, I mean.

The last time two teams this rotten squared off in the annual USC-UCLA football game was the day before Pearl Harbor in 1941. USC was 2-6 and UCLA was 4-5 following a loss to Santa Clara.

Neither side deserved to win that year and in fact they tied 7-7.

Thus Saturday's bumbling display at the Coliseum was not quite the most appropriate in the history of the intracity rivalry. Only the most appropriate since the era of leather helmets.

They wrote a fitting climax to the local college football season as USC defeated UCLA at the Coliseum in a game in which the pivotal performance was turned in by a nearsighted official.

USC won 17-7 and didn't care a whit that on an artistic level, the game was an overturned paint truck on the Harbor Freeway.

UCLA lost for the first time since 1990 and found no consolation in knowing that for much of the overcast afternoon the Trojans looked as foolish as the Bruins.

It was depressing, though, for L.A. fans who just like to watch good football. There wasn't any.

``It's a rivalry. It's unpredictable,'' David Gibson, the USC safety who made the clinching interception, said by way of explaining the ragged play. ``It seems like we gave UCLA every opportunity to get back in the ballgame and were lucky to to escape unscathed.''

I don't know if any one moment sums it all up.

Maybe it was the time, early in the second half, when an official went down and was briefly attended to by trainers from both sidelines. It was hard to tell if he was hurt or just worn out. Twenty-five penalties were marched off for a total of 194 yards.

Maybe it was the time, after the teams recorded five straight three-and-outs in the third quarter, when they ran out of coffee cups in the press box. Caffeine would have come in handy about then.

Maybe it was one of freshman UCLA quarterback Ryan McCann's three interceptions or UCLA tailback DeShaun Foster's fourth-quarter fumble at the USC 7.

Maybe it was the USC punt on which three penalties were called - two against UCLA and one against USC - and the whole play was done over.

Maybe it was one of the eight false starts among USC's 16 penalties.

In the third quarter, leading 10-7, the Trojans marched to the Bruins' 1, only to jump before the snap. After a sack, a high third-down pass and another false start, the Trojans missed a field goal from 34 yards.

``I was livid,'' USC coach Paul Hackett said.

Minutes later, with the score the same, the Trojans were inside the 1 again.

``I knew the next time we got down there we'd know what to do. And sure enough, we jumped offside,'' Hackett said. ``I was beside myself.''

That set up the play of the game. And the game's critical mistake.

From the 5, quarterback John Fox threw to the left side of the end zone. Kareem Kelly jumped over Ricky Manning and snagged it. But Kelly came down with his left shoe a foot out of bounds.

Side judge Harvey Jones called it a touchdown. Videotape proved he was wrong and he admitted as much later. This Harvey wished he was invisible.

UCLA coach Bob Toledo didn't blame the call for the defeat that dropped the Bruins to 4-7, their worst finish in a decade.

``They might have scored anyway,'' Toledo said. Anyway, the Bruins weren't about to score again after McCann's second-quarter touchdown scramble. It was the fourth time in five games they managed a touchdown or less.

Toledo blamed the sloppy performance on the Bruins' injuries. They were down to their fourth-string quarterback.

``When you start 45 different players (in a season), it's hard to have any consistency or continuity,'' he said. ``At least in our case, that was probably the problem.''

And the Trojans (5-6)? They were down to their third-string quarterback.

But they were in no mood for self-evaluation late Saturday.

Hackett used the euphemism ``hard-fought'' to describe the win, admitting it ``wasn't one of the pretty ones'' while suggesting it belonged among the series' classics anyway.

Art wasn't in the USC curriculum Saturday. Winning was enough.

The Trojans wanted to end their eight-game losing streak against the Bruins in the worst way, and you have to say they succeeded on both counts.

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PHOTO UCLA's DeShaun Foster gets swarmed by USC defenders, who did an excellent job of stopping the Bruins' running - and rushing the QB - the whole game.

John Lazar/Staff Photographer