FAMILY MEMBERS HIT BY SERIES OF TRAGEDIES.

Byline: Don Conkey Daily News Staff Writer

When Phyllis Cordera died Thursday, Peter Cordera chose not to be there.

``I'd already said my goodbyes,'' her husband said.

And he had already shown her a lifetime of love.

Phyllis Cordera's death on Thursday at age 67 at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles was another tragic chapter for a family that has suffered much over the past couple of months.

Peter and Phyllis' oldest son, Brian Cordera of Simi Valley, died in September after being fatally injured in a motorcycle crash.

Peter Cordera then underwent a kidney transplant - receiving the organ from Brian as a bittersweet gift after his death.

Six days after Brian's funeral, Phyllis Cordera underwent a quintuple bypass surgery.

``It's been 20 days that she's been unconscious,'' Peter said Friday, ``an emotional roller coaster.''

On Thursday, it was decided to take her off life-support.

``At about a quarter to five, they disconnected all life support,'' Peter said, ``and she went right away.''

The decision, he said, had been the family's. ``It had been like a yo-yo, up and down, one day feeling that she might not last the night, then her blood pressure going up and the situation seeming a little better.

``Yesterday (Thursday) morning, they asked us about it. Her blood pressure was dropping. They closed her chest - her chest had been open all this time - and when they closed it, her heart wouldn't stop it, and her blood pressure started dropping.

``They asked me if they wanted to continue with medication, and I told them, no; let her go.''

When she died later that day, ``two of my kids, Jeanne (Palleschi) and John (Cordera) were there with her.'' Peter, who lives in Moultonboro, N.H., was in Simi Valley at the home of Brian's former wife Janet Cordera.

His thoughts at that moment? ``I was thinking what a beautiful woman she was, and wondering how I am ever going to get along without her. She was my right arm. And I cried - a lot.''

Phyllis Cordera is survived by her husband, Peter; children, Leslie Whitney, Jeanne Palleschi, Peter Cordera Jr., John Cordera, Phyllis LeGrande and Allan Cordera; and 19 grandchildren.

Visitation is 6 to 8 p.m., Monday at Reardon Simi Valley Mortuary, 2636 Sycamore Drive. Rosary will follow at 8 p.m. Burial will be at St. James Cemetery in Manchester, Conn. Memorial Donations may be made to the American Kidney Foundation, 6110 Executive Blvd., Rockville, MD.

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Photo: (ran in SIMI and CONEJO--color in SIMI) Phyllis Cordera

Died after surgery