F'd up: "an inward, selfish pleasure in playing instruments".

SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE, some douchebag alchemists held the word "hardcore" behind their backs and, in a puff of smoke, a musical art form made by misfits, geeks, social retards, and folks allergic to weightlifting was hijacked and turned into fuckin' football practice with metal guitars. Minor Threat, The Offenders, Black Flag, Articles of Faith, Poison Idea, Negative Approach, and Bad Brains were washed over by muscle-bound nightmares stuck in a tattoo-y confusion of whom to hit and where to place all the chugga chugga solos. Toronto's Fucked Up get it so right. Their hardcore telepathically bridges the early '80s, reaches even further back for intelligence, and is blazing across this great land of ours, one shitty stereo and uncool kid at a time. Wear your weird badge. Listen to music that nuggies emo with its brutal smarts while making sounds that turns all that "tough guy" music into something softer than marshmallows left out in the sun.

What does the word Toronto mean?

Mike: It's a Native word for where the trees grow or something.

Wrong.

Mike: Fuck!

Jonah: It is a Native word, isn't it? Like "land on the lake?"

It's Huron for "meeting place."

Mike: There actually is a place called the Meeting Place in Toronto that's a Native hangout. What else do you know about Toronto? Try and school us again.

What does Toronto have the highest per capita of in North America?

Damian: Bike thefts.

Maybe, but that's not what I was getting at. It's a leisure activity.

Damian: Rollerblading?

Golf courses.

All: Really?

Jonah: I figured Southern California would have us beat on most golf courses.

Megan Pants found those facts.

Mike: Thanks. Make us look like fucking idiots.

Everyone has to answer this: what's your motive for being in the band and how is it different from other people in the band?

Jonah: First of all, the motive is somewhat self-serving because the band is so successful for a punk band. The fact that we're out here being a testament to that, and all the records. Anyway, the main motive for me is to play music that is really enjoyable. We all work on songs together occasionally, but just the fact that the band is so separated all the time, we each have our own take on it. For me, it's just an inward, selfish pleasure in playing instruments and playing music.

Mike: My motive is to take a fairly successful and enjoyable band and turn it into a band that makes seventeen-minute songs that everybody gets bummed out on and we can never play live because nobody wants to play them except me.

Damian: My motive is preventing Mike from completing his motive. No, I guess my motive is for records. I'm not going to lie, I like getting test presses, I like getting vinyl. And to advance my solo project, Pinkeye, which Jonah and I have started. Kind of like a Power Station of bands.

Mike, did you do both 'zines Quick and Breakout?

Mike: Yes, and Josh did Quick with me as well.

What was the focus of the 'zines?

Mike: Quick was ridiculous, it was like anarchist theory and edible weeds. Breakout was about hardcore bands. That came three years later.

In Breakout, you did the history of Dangerhouse, too, is that correct?

Mike: I just ripped that from Break My Face (breakmyface.com). Who's that guy? Ryan Richardson.

Damian: But then you did that thing where you talked about your favorite Dangerhouse records. That was a time when we were living together, and that's where my love of archiving hardcore records came from. Mike was so meticulous. He would take books out of the library and study these old 'zincs.

Mike: My school library has a lot of punk books, so a lot of Breakout came right out of the library.

Damian: I have a lot of fines there and can't go . back. They had old Australian punk books and Germs songbooks.

What band exists now that's not well known but will shape music for the next generation?

Damian: Like bands that are obscure and then there's going to be an impact? Probably something we don't even know about. It would probably be something like UK garage. Let's hope not.

Mike: Something that's going to make music better or make it worse?

Hopefully better.

Mike: Just a band that will have an impact?

When the Pixies were around, they were interesting and people liked them, but now they're getting more and more popular and people are attributing more and more things to the Pixies.

Mike: Fischer Spooner.

Damian: Grade from Toronto. When they were around, I thought they were abysmal, no one's going to like that. But now you hear the Used on the radio and it's like Grade has inherited the Earth. Knowing that, it's probably going to be some band like RAMBO or Good Clean Fun that I can't stand. Actually, I think it would probably be Atari Teenage Riot or something from that scene that incorporated electronics.

Mike: KLF. That's my answer.

Damian: Mike, they were huge. They won a Grammy, for Christ's sake.

Mike: Does everybody in this car know who KLF is?

I don't.

Mike: Okay, good. That's my answer.

Damian: My answer is Haymaker.