Enrichment through transition.

SEVEN COLLEAGUES DESCRIBE LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCES.

The press release from the World Futures Society intrigued me. It began, "More and more people are traveling these days, and not just because the economy is booming. 'Transformative travel' - traveling to change your life - is attracting the interests of many people who want more than a temporary escape from their daily lives." The release went on to describe how travel is one way to create a new future.

A few hours later I happened to read "How to Make Your Career Move" in Fast Company's Online Archives - a collection of advice for moving ahead, from 14 business leaders.

Together these two pieces got me to thinking about all the "travel" our psyches experience when we make personal and professional moves. Wouldn't it be great, I thought, if readers could connect with each other in a fresh way - in a way that would describe association executives' transformative travels - though not necessarily of the geographic sort.

I invited seven executives to share their stories about a personal or career change - a defining moment or driving force in their life. I asked each to talk about the growth that resulted from the transition he or she experienced. And I told them they had to do it succinctly, since brevity was critical if we were to get more than one person's story into the article.

I hope you're touched by what they reveal of themselves. These are people who live examined lives - people who aren't taking things for granted and don't let fear of change stop them from exploring the unknown. These are successful people, in that they have gotten to know themselves and the world around them a little better, and that process is enriching their travels.

FINDING CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF

Michael A. Spano Executive Director, Beauty and Barber Supply Institute, Inc., Phoenix, Arizona; e-mail: [e-mail]

My life and career change happened due to the most unfortunate circumstance. In January 1998 my boss/mentor/friend of eight years, Fred Polk, passed away from stomach cancer. From the time he was diagnosed with cancer I had made the decision to step up and take a more active role in guiding the association, though I was actually still learning the job from Fred. In December 1997 I had been promoted to deputy executive director, but prior to that, as senior director of administration, I really had not begun to take on much of a leadership role.

The day after Fred's funeral I was on a plane to Miami to meet with our executive committee to discuss a major project we were in the process of undertaking, as well as to discuss my future. The executive committee promoted me to executive director for one year, without a contract. On the one hand, the committee felt the decision to promote me was the right decision because I knew the industry and all the players and also because I had a great rapport with the staff. On the other hand, the executive committee was feeling scared, and at the time they were looking for someone to fill in a gap fast. While I had been with the association for eight years and was the number two, I was 29 at the time, with very little experience leading a large international trade association; ! hadn't yet been exposed to the role of the CEO and day-to-day interactions with a board of directors.

I've learned from this experience that you need to have confidence in your abilities and realize that your judgment may not always be right, but it's usually best. Building confidence takes time, but you can accelerate the process with some pretty basic outlooks - like accepting praise with open arms and allowing yourself to take some credit for the success of your association. I've also learned that I know a lot more than I thought I did and that age is not as big an issue as I thought it would be.

The greatest motivator for me has been the tremendous response from our staff. They've stood behind me every step of the way, and they want nothing more than to see me succeed. I'm the first to realize that without an extremely capable staff, this transition would be impossible. In addition, the industry has been extremely supportive, and without its support, you don't stand a chance.

All of these things have made me a confident and, up to this point, successful CEO. The board reevaluated the trial situation and will be discussing a contract in the near future. I suppose the strangest thing has been looking for someone to make a final decision and realizing that someone is me.

TAKING CALCULATED RISKS

Nancy R. Daly

President, Daly Strategic Directions, Orlando, Florida, and formerly Vice President of Planning and Product Development, GledFed, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, and Chief Financial Officer, BOMA International, Washington, D.C.; e-mail: [e-mail]

My mottoes:

* If yon want self-fulfillment, you cannot be a passive participant in life.

* "When yon really believe something can be done, your mind goes to work to help find ways to do it." (Adapted from David Schwartz, author of The Magic of Thinking Big.)

Sign in my office:

"Success. There is only one success. To be able to live your life in your own way."

I am an analyst by instinct and training. Before making two significant changes in my life, I poured over the pros and cons and developed scenarios and contingencies. My decisions were not incremental steps, but rather significant change with risk. Calculated and measured risk supported by a responsible action plan gave me the confidence to leap forward.

Transition 1: In 1988, newly married, age 29, I left a handsome, stable salary and bonus in Florida banking, to travel abroad; move to Washington, D.C., where neither my husband nor I had a job; and change to a new industry to find more satisfying and stimulating challenges.

I received a lot of encouragement from my husband and felt both brave and scared. How long before I found a good job? Would I be challenged professionally in a not-for-profit? Would I like working with 40 staff instead of 4,000?

My growth was beyond my imagination. The depth of importance for people to pull together as members and staff around a common cause is powerful. The immediate impact of my expertise and actions were dramatic and rewarding.

The executive then at BOMA (Building Owners and Managers Association), Mark Hurwitz, CAE, probably had more trust and confidence in my potential than I had. I was professionally stretched in uncharted territory, and I wanted to exceed his expectations. Little did I know that we had a turnaround on our hands.

My observation: When given an opportunity that excites you, yet you are unsure of your experience qualifications, take the girl of the opportunity to dive in and find a way to do it.

Transition 2: In 1994, married with one child, age 35, I left an enviable salary and status at BOMA to launch new challenges with a consulting, facilitation, and speaking business, with a niche in bringing proven business strategy to not-for-profits. Again I felt brave and scared. Would I be able to convince executives of my capabilities, enthusiasm, and commitment? Would my family be financially secure after giving up more than half of our stable household income?

Happily, yes on both counts. The word-of-mouth referrals, support, and friendships have kept me busier and happier than I ever expected. Financially, we had to slightly dip into savings only during the first year.

I have unleashed creativity, that was buried in conservative practicality,. I love the important issues of associations and the role I play in helping them achieve their goals.

My observation: Being in control of your destiny is a powerful enabler. Create the environment to make great things happen; then keep doing it.

CONNECTING TO OTHERS

Gary L. Fetgatter, CAE Executive Director, Ohio Podiatric Medical Association, Columbus; e-mail: [e-mail]

On January 21, 1989, at the age of 39, I experienced an "epiphany" that transformed my perception of reality. My experience was self-induced with the aid of a program on developing leadership skills. The program combined surveys of my boss, peers, employees, and even my family with perceptions of me by 12 strangers in the program. The result was akin to a public autopsy of me as a person. It was a powerful experience and produced a flash of insight - an epiphany.

Here is how I changed: I feel incredibility connected to all other people. Once you have come face to face with your inner self, you begin to understand that all of us are traveling along the same human experience and that we all are simply at different places along that path.

My values changed dramatically. I lost much of my desire for materialistic gain, and human relationships became much more important to me. Being able to feel the interconnectivity of all life allowed me to better understand life. I lost my fear of death, an empowering experience.

I also lost my need to control my life. We all enjoy the illusion that we are in control, but by focusing on our own goals, we often miss tremendous opportunities presented to us by environmental changes. Another way of expressing this concept is that when we are talking, we use only one of our senses; when we are concentrating on active listening, we use all of our senses.

LISTENING TO THE HEART

Gale S. Wood, CAE

President and CEO, COMET Consulting Services, West Chester, Pennsylvania, and formerly Executive Director, Financial Women International, Arlington, Virginia; e-mail: [e-mail]

"Be prepared for a sudden, needed, and happy change in plans" read a fortune whose words of wisdom have become a byline in my life. During the past 27 years, I have had three careers and nine employers. Each move has allowed me to grow and learn.

My friends marvel at the seeming alacrity with which I have made such transitions. I've learned that by believing in the inner strength of my decision making, I find the courage, enthusiasm, and open mind to change.

They say attitude is everything: Whenever I have decided that it's time for me to look for a new opportunity, one has arisen. Many years ago, I concluded that the consulting firm for which I was working was no longer the right place for me because the firm was not recognizing my value. A few days later, I saw an ad for a job in an association that sounded like a perfect match. Calling the employer, I discovered I had known the CEO from a former position, years prior; I was right about the perfect match. When I decided 10 years later, after almost a year acting as that association's CEO, that the fit was no longer right, I opened up CEO Update (an employment newsletter) to find the next position for which I was ultimately hired.

Each experience has afforded me unforetold opportunities, so I now always look forward to what each new move will bring. I make it a point to "pack in my baggage" only those items that have taught me something I can apply in the future. With each transition, I am better able to remember those lessons from the past to choose what is most important to me. I have learned to listen to my heart as I look at my future, seeking options that allow me to be who I am wherever I go. This approach has fared me well, allowing me to be excited as I research, network, and locate new opportunities.

I'm also learning that life and work are fluid. I can't predict how long I wile be in one place, or what I will accomplish while I'm there. To do so sets up boundaries that can become barriers to growth and awareness. Rather, I'm learning to see - and seek - opportunities in each experience. I've learned that those sudden changes foretold in my fortune cookie abound. To me, "be prepared" has come to mean "be open to and eager for" opportunities.

This spring, I relocated to Philadelphia to remarry and to seek my new fortune. I was intuitively prepared to find an exciting new situation that would be right for me and the association (s) I would serve. Learning to be true to myself has enabled me to be true to my work.

REFOCUSING ON THE IMPORTANT

Dennis E. Jungmeyer, CAE President, Arkansas Automobile Dealers Association, Little Rock; e-mail: [e-mail]

We all have special dates to remember. Our first car. Our 21st birthday celebration. Our first hole in one. I now have one more date to add to my list, but it is far less pleasant than my other significant occasions. It involved a phone call from Dr. Lacey Fraiser on December 18, 1996. "Mr. Jungmeyer, I'm afraid I don't have good news. Of the tissue samples we took from your prostate, two of the six samples are malignant." The rest of the conversation is somewhat blurred, but on that memorable day, my life and the lives of my loved ones changed as well.

Upon hearing the traumatic news that you have cancer, you begin to feel many emotions. This could not happen to me. I'm too young. I'm too healthy. Then, fear, self-pity, anger, aloneness, and, surpassing them all, vulnerability. I also felt an unnerving lack of control.

Ultimately you come to grips and the education process begins. For any male or female diagnosed with cancer, it is an awakening that life is indeed fragile and results in an urgent call for physical, religious, and moral support. For me, at least, there was an immediate refocus on what is important in life and what is not.

Not unlike most small-association executives with responsibilities for an array of functions but limited resources, I had become preoccupied with work while sometimes slighting family and friends. Now, with the awareness that none of us is invincible, I allocate more time to family life and other personal interests. And I've found that I get just as much accomplished and have experienced an even greater appreciation from my board of directors. I was forced to set priorities, both personal and professional, and the results have been quite comforting.

Deciding what course of therapy to pursue was a complicated and difficult decision. I settled on external beam radiation therapy and seed implants, still considered to be experimental treatment. At this writing it has been 16 months since the seed implant therapy, and while I still experience lingering side effects, I have been blessed with substantial improvement. Even with occasional setbacks, all signs indicate that we are on our way to successfully curing the cancer. I'm told that as time passes, my body will heal and I can expect a long and healthy life.

We all learn from our experiences, and a bout with cancer is certainly educational. But perhaps the most important thing to come of this is a refocus on what is truly important in life. I've learned that faith, family, and friends come first.

Perhaps one of the most revealing things I've learned from this experience is that each of us will sooner or later face a challenging or traumatic situation. Whatever the cause, I urge my peers to step back and reexamine their work habits, their relationships with family and friends, and their faith. Excellence is shallow if it is achieved by sacrificing what is really important in life. Don't wait for a crisis to begin to focus on day-to-day priorities. Life is too uncertain and too fragile for us to take it for granted.

KEEPING YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME

Ralph J. Marlatt, CAE President, RJM Consultants, Arlington, Virginia; e-mail: [e-mail]

In today's job market, some transitions are voluntary and some are not. Two of mine were involuntary - in the association business, a merger left me without a job, and in the private sector, downsizing did the same thing. While there is definitely hurt and pain with the loss of a job, there is also a sense of adventure and excitement. The leadership and entrepreneurial skills learned along the way served me well in being able to take advantage of the opportunity to build my own business. The one clear goal that emerges is the need to stay in the midst of the action and not lose momentum - in other words, to keep your head in the game.

To do this you must have self-confidence - you must know yourself. You gain self-confidence by taking risks and reaching beyond yourself. When I was in the U.S. Army Ranger School, we had to negotiate a confidence course. It was necessary to climb a 50-foot telephone pole; walk across a board with a step in the middle; climb a 10-foot vertical rope to a horizontal rope, which you had to cross and let go of, to fall 60 feet into the water. Many soldiers dropped out at this point. What we learned later was that anyone who even attempted this obstacle course passed. (I made it!) You gain self-confidence from your successes - big and small. And you grow in self-confidence when you come back from failure. By defining yourself, you bring immediate value - immediate definition - to a new job.

Faith, family, and friends give you the support and encouragement to climb that next mountain. Close friends help you to laugh and not take yourself too seriously. Build on the foundation of the life you have established. It has been said that "the legacy you leave is the life you lead." When you see such problems as poor health and tragedy, losing a job comes into perspective. Today it's necessary to be "nimble of foot" - to learn to live with change. Your cumulative life experience will prepare you for a fulfilling life of dramatic change.

LIVING YOUR OWN TRUTH

Russell L. Abolt

Executive Vice President, International Sleep Products Association, Alexandria, Virginia; e-mail: [e-mail]

Thirty years with my association; 34 years in my marriage, and with my wife, 25 years running a 30-horse equestrian center and bed and breakfast. Too much, my wife and I were sacrificing our marriage to everyone and everything else. Our answer: Put the relationship first, sell the farm, buy a ranch in Montana near the wilderness, and create a new and exciting focus together. Developing a center for personal and spiritual development became our long-range life goal.

I put the association leadership and staff on notice that a lifestyle change was becoming our life priority, without relinquishing my relationship with the staff and the industry association. I gave my intentions to my executive committee in writing and verbally, and admittedly there has been nervousness about the impact on staff and my own commitment. But the executive committee is learning that the job is getting done and that the entire staff makes an organization effective - that leadership is shared.

Giving notice involved having face-to-face, honest conversations with the management team and subsequently with the entire staff. I invited the management staff to determine to what degree they wanted to participate in preserving the staff culture in which they were significantly invested. We discussed their opportunity to become full partners in the transition and to take ownership of their futures. The team felt significant empowerment and are determining where they individually fit into the future. My commitment to my personal truth has provided honesty and improved understanding for staff and the leadership.

During the next three years I will be dividing my work time between Alexandria, Virginia, and Condon, Montana. Consequently the management team has intensified our management team focus and strengthened our sense of team, placing emphasis not on where we are, as much as on who we are - a real awakening. The strengthened sense of team facilitates communication and builds commitment and honesty.

In the three-year period I will continue to reassess my effectiveness and the effectiveness of our staff team. I am convinced that my marriage, the association, and the staff will significantly benefit from this decision to reinvent the future, while keeping job continuity and commitment in tact.

The important issue is being politically correct as CEO versus being true to oneself. I've found that being true to oneself means being true to others, too. The leadership learns to honor and respect this and not be threatened by it. Living your own truth is the ultimate benefit; it invites others to do the same.

It also involves tension, fear, anxiety, discomfort, and the like. But the alternative is to live without learning to know and live true to oneself. It's a process of reconciling our actions with our inner voice. Otherwise the external world will blow us in many directions with winds being driven from forces outside ourselves.