Emma Pinch - pondering great questions.

FEBRUARY 29 has been crow-barred into the calendar to keep the Western world running with durch sprung technik efficiency; none of this sitting around waiting for moons to wax and wane and chanting mantras like you (possibly) get in less stuffy countries.

A made-up day like February 29 should be spent on things that you could never put into your Blackberry. I'd spend an entire day lolling about perusing Reveal, Look, First, Grazia, Top Sante, Love It, Hair and all those other lovely hair dressers' magazines you only usually get to read out of one awkwardly angled eye while your scalp's being sand blasted by the junior. Or I'd go to the cinema in the middle of the day and watch kidult flicks like Finding Nemo, Shrek and Ratatouille, right. For sustenance, I'd have sackfuls of white chocolate mice, strawberry bootlaces, Doritos and other cinema staples, bought from Spar, not the designated multiplex outlet.

I'd solve once and for all the random panics that descend occasionally and quickly lift, but could one day be rather important. Do I possess the deeds to my flat in any findable place; what is my blood group; does my car still have its spare tyre, and if so, where?

I might try to avail myself of some of the grown-up stuff taught on a day when I must have overslept, like how an interest-only mortgage works and what exactly an ISA wrapping is.

I should also familiarise myself with the exact location of my car's oil reservoir and read the instructions on my camera/mobile phone/lap top. On second thoughts, even with an extra day or two, life's too short.