ETHNOGRAPHIC RAMIFICATIONS\NFC champ will likely set cultural trends.

Byline: Michael Ventre

More is at stake in the Green Bay-Dallas game Sunday than just a berth in the Super Bowl. The physical, mental and emotional well-being of the football public is also on the line.

Surely you're familiar with Super Bowl hype. That is the phenomenon by which we are deluged with newspaper, magazine, television and radio reports about the teams, the cities and the individuals involved in the ultimate game. In the two weeks prior to the Super Bowl, you will learn everything about the participants that can be derived without invoking the Freedom of Information Act.

If Green Bay wins, get ready for Favremania. Brett Favre is a bonafide, tobacco-spittin', pickup-truck-drivin' good ole boy. The last time a guy like him got this much exposure on TV, he had a cousin named Goober and a sergeant named Carter. Compared to Favre, Jed Clampett is a bon vivant.

The stubble on his mug will become as famous as George Clooney's haircut. He will inspire thousands of admirers to let shaving go for two or three days. Pretty soon we will be a country of men who look like they should be selling black-market cigarettes on the streets of Minsk. No one will want to kiss us.

If Dallas wins, everywhere you turn, there will be Deion Sanders. Imagine it. You walk into a coffee shop and there will be a lifesized poster of Deion sipping a decaf no-foam non-fat latte and acting like he knows what the heck it is. You walk into a toy store and there will not only be walking and talking Deions, but strutting and dissing Deions.

Deion will be invited to speak everywhere, and on every conceivable topic: Deion on Whitewater; Deion on Chuck and Di; Deion on how you can turn those holiday leftovers into a sassy casserole; Deion on etiquette.

You will be asked to subscribe to The Deion Channel.

If Green Bay wins, you will hear cheese jokes. Lots of them. But that's not the worst of it. No siree.

More actual cheese will be consumed than ever before. Gobs of Gouda. Tons of Tillamook. Loads of Limburger. Mountains of mozzarella. And in every conceivable way: grilled cheese; fried cheese; baked cheese; chopped; shredded; sprinkled; spread with a knife; sliced with a cleaver; removed from individual plastic wrappers.

Soon there will be legions of obese football fans walking down the streets of America with Green Bay Packers jackets on carrying wedges of cheddar in one hand and nut-encrusted party logs in the other. Emergency rooms will be clogged with clogged arteries. Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers will have a price war. The President of the United States will go on television and plead with the public to start eating red meat as a healthy alternative.

If Dallas wins, Barry Switzer and Jerry Jones will be seen hugging each other on television so often that they will start to show up in the polls as third-party candidates. They will crack so many homespun jokes that some savvy producer will team them with Terry Bradshaw and revive "Hee Haw!"

Jones will start to compare Switzer to some of the great coaches in NFL history, like Vince Lombardi. Then Jones will compare Switzer to some of the great strategists in military history, like George Patton. Then Jones will liken Switzer to some of the great men in world history, like Marco Polo. Then somebody will take his car keys away from him.

If Green Bay wins, there will be a trend toward jubilant players leaping into the stands after touchdowns. That, in turn, will lead to players jumping into the stands after field goals. Then point-after kicks and two-point conversions. And safeties. Soon players will face a second-and-8 from midfield, gain 2 yards, and jump into the stands.

Agents will start to insist upon incentive clauses in contracts whereby a player gets rewarded if, say, he jumps into the first row, or if he makes it into the second or third rows. A small fortune will await the man who can reach the upper deck.

Such a trend could prove hazardous to the youth of our country if it extends down to the Pee Wee level, where often there are no stands.

If Dallas wins, country music will take over. Rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg will tour with the Judds. People on the streets of New York and L.A. will be able to tell George Jones and George Strait. Merle Haggard will clean up at the Grammys. Placido Domingo will release an album that deals solely with the topics of losing your job and your girl.

By the way, there is another game Sunday. It's Indianapolis against Pittsburgh. But I'm ignoring it. I believe that the NFC will culturally dominate the AFC once again. Isn't that the way it always turns out?

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(1--color) If Dallas beats the Packers in Sunday's NFC championship game, Deion Sanders look-alikes will crowd the streets. (2--color) But If Green Bay wins, Brett Favre's stubble will likely become a nationwide trend. Associated Press