ENZYME OF YOUTH COMES TOO LATE FOR SOME, BUT WISDOM DOESN'T; BOOMERS CAN LEARN VALUE OF A LINED FACE.Byline: Dennis McCarthy Dennis McCarthy may refer to:
You hear that blood-curdling scream Wednesday morning? It was every plastic surgeon plastic surgeon A surgeon specialized in reconstruction or cosmetic enhancement of various body regions, most commonly the face–nose, chin, and cheeks, breasts and buttocks; PSs remove fat deposits through liposuction; PSs reduce scarring or disfigurement in L.A. opening their newspaper and reading about how some Texas medical researchers think they've come up with a way to slow down the aging process. There goes the new Mercedes and the getaway house in Maui. The medical breakthrough is being called ``the cellular fountain of youth Fountain of Youth legendary fountain of eternal youth. [World Legend: Brewer Dictionary, 432] See : Unattainability .'' It's some enzyme that's supposed to block cells from aging, and make people feel healthier longer. Great, but as a card-carrying member card-carrying member n → miembro con carnet card-carrying member n → membre actif card-carrying member n → of AARP AARP, a nonprofit, nonpartisan national organization dedicated to "enriching the experience of aging"; membership is open to people age 50 or older. Founded in 1958 by Ethel Percy Andrus as American Association of Retired Persons, AARP now has over 30 million - the American Association American Association refers to one of the following professional baseball leagues:
What took you guys so long? You couldn't find this enzyme 10 years ago before my face started looking like a map of the downtown freeway interchange, with all the wrinkles and exhaust lines running into each other? Get back in the lab and find us aging baby boomers See generation X. a natural way to wipe out the road maps of our lives already crisscrossing our faces, and then we'll talk about handing you guys a Nobel Prize Nobel Prize, award given for outstanding achievement in physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine, peace, or literature. The awards were established by the will of Alfred Nobel, who left a fund to provide annual prizes in the five areas listed above. . You may have found a way to close the barn door for the next generation, but our horses already got out and scattered a while back. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for my kids that when they're 50 they may look 30, but c'mon. They're already getting my house and whatever money I won't have time to blow before I croak. When's enough enough? What was all that stuff about the next generation having it tougher than the last anyway? More spin? Our kids trying to make us feel a little guilty about putting in for Social Security? When you think about it, my whole baby boom generation is getting shortchanged here. We've worked long and hard the past 30 years to make this nation economically and technologically strong, and now that we're getting ready to ride into the sunset in the next 10 years or so, what have we got to show for it? Wrinkles, liver spots liver spots Age spots, lentigos, senile lentigines, sun-induced skin changes Dermatology A nonspecific lay term for red-brown skin lesions associated with aging–eg, pigmented seborrheic keratosis and lentigo senilis. See Lentigines. and a Social Security program that may or may not be there very long. Where's our fancy enzyme, our cellular fountain of youth? Keep the gold watch. We'll take 20 years off the old mug as a golden handshake golden handshake token of gratitude bestowed on retiring employee after years of service. [Br. Pop. Culture: Misc.] See : Farewell instead. Maybe it's just as well we won't be getting it. Some things you shouldn't mess around with - like your own face. I can understand if you're a movie star, and your face is your income. But for the rest of us (abuse) for The Rest Of Us - (From the Macintosh slogan "The computer for the rest of us") 1. Used to describe a spiffy product whose affordability shames other comparable products, or (more often) used sarcastically to describe spiffy but very overpriced products. 2. , our face is just, well - our face. If we haven't come to grips with it after 50 years or so, we don't need a plastic surgeon. We need a therapist. Besides, I think it would be Rod Serling strange to look in the mirror some morning if we baby boomers did have a chance to jump on the ``cellular fountain of youth'' highway, and see our face from 20 years ago looking back at us. All the worry lines gone from those times when we thought for sure the boss was going to can us, or our daughter was going to run off and marry that guy working over at the tattoo parlor. Or the long nights we stayed up with a sick kid, or prayed our teen-age son or daughter wasn't home with the car yet because they ran out of gas, and not something else. Please, not something else. All the wrinkles suddenly gone from those long nights around the kitchen table trying to figure out how we were going to get four kids through college on our salary, and still have something left over when it was time for us to hang them up and retire. The heartbreak nights when we all lost someone we loved very much. No, there's a story in every one of those worry lines and wrinkles we baby boomers hate to see looking back at us in the mirror every day. They're the story of our lives - both the good times and the bad. I'm not sure I want any enzyme messing around with them. |
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