E-MAIL FROM ATLANTA : PIN PATROL OUT OF CONTROL, SO STROLL TO GOAL TAKES TOLL.

Byline: Michael Ventre

Olympic event: Street-walking.

(No, not that kind!)

Sidewalks packed with tourists. Most of them standing in my way. Can't proceed.

Notice pattern. People walk 10 feet, stop to look at pins, walk another 10 feet, stop again. Zig-zag down the street.

I try method. Doesn't work. People who are supposed to zig are zagging. Vice versa. Ready to scream. Need to get just three blocks away. Wish I carried pepper spray.

Come home from basketball at Georgia Dome. Can't cut through park, the way I came. Park closed. Have to go around park.

Streets clogged with men and women just discovering alcohol. Can't get past. Try zig-zag pattern again. This time it works

Everybody zig-zagging in this crowd. Realize it's fine line between zig-zag and stagger.

Walk past giant street party. Song playing: ``YMCA.'' Gee, don't hear that much. Wonder how many of these people forming letters with their arms know what letters stand for. Guessing 20 to 30 percent, tops.

Get to open area. Man arguing with woman. Both seemed to have imbibed a beverage or two. Man wants woman to get into car. Woman refuses. Wonder what their blood-alcohol content is. Guessing 20 to 30 percent.

Walk past another street party. Man with bullhorn is trying to entice patrons into his establishment. Bullhorn extremely loud. Consider going into his establishment just so I won't have to hear bullhorn anymore. Decide instead to walk fast. Step on someone's foot. Hey, next time wear steel-toed boots!

Hoofin' it.

- Cyberscribe