Dubya plays with numbers.

Oh, goody. President Bush is still going on about what a swell economy we have. Did you know that the Dow Jones Industrial Average has been at its highest point ever? And the NASDAQ, ditto. Wow, breathtaking, huh?

But the Dow is not a good indicator of how things are really going for the majority of Americans. Median hourly wages, adjusted for inflation, have dropped 2 percent since 2003, and we've seen an immense shift of wealth from the poor and middle class to the very rich.

I just love listening to the Bushies play with numbers. When Bush took over in 2001, he predicted a surplus of $516 billion for fiscal year 2006. In October, the Administration announced a 2006 deficit of $248 billion, missing its projection for this year by, let's see, only $764 billion. Bush said the numbers are "proof that pro-growth economic policies work" and reflect "sound fiscal policies here in Washington." This is highly reminiscent of Dick Cheney's recent observation about the Iraqi government, "If you look at the general, overall situation, they're doing remarkably well."

Bush's main talking point on the budget is that he "cut the federal budget deficit in half"--that would be from 2004, the year the White House inflated the projected deficit for 2006. Brian Riedl of the Heritage Foundation said, "The White House has a track record of projecting budget numbers to be a lot worse than they end up, which therefore helps them defeat the gloomy expectations and declare victory."

If I were Bush, I wouldn't even mention the budget deficit. When he came to power, he inherited a huge budget surplus, which he squandered. And if he does manage to make the tax cuts permanent, it will add more than $3 trillion to the deficit over the next ten years.

Bush's version of "doing remarkably well" includes a trade gap--now a record $69.9 billion--up 2.7 percent since July. "Short of a big correction in consumer spending, the best we can hope for is that the trade deficit stabilizes," Stephen Stanley, chief economist at RBS Greenwich Capital, told Bloomberg.com.

Just to give you an idea of how dependable the Bush numbers are, the Department of Health and Human Services put out a press release in September telling senior citizens they will have "new options with lower costs" and that monthly premiums in '07 will be the same as in '06.

"The Medicare prescription drug benefit ... just keeps getting better," burbled HHS. They seem to have been taking the wrong prescription drugs. Representative Henry Waxman, one of the most singularly useful members of Congress, found that average premiums will actually increase by more than 10 percent next year. And for the lowest-priced plans, average premiums will be up over 44 percent.

The Old War Criminal is back. I try not to hold grudges, but I must admit I have never lost one ounce of rancor toward Henry Kissinger, that cynical, slithery, self-absorbed pathological liar. He has all the loyalty and principle of Charles Talleyrand, whom Napoleon described as "a piece of dung in a silk stocking." Just count the number of Americans and Vietnamese who died between 1969 and 1973, and see if you can find any indication Kissinger ever gave a damn.

The War Criminal's return is the only piece of news I have found in Bob Woodward's new book, and what amazes me is the reaction to State of Denial. Gosh, gasp, imagine, Woodward says the war's a disaster! The majority of the American people came to the same conclusion about a year ago.

The self-important chattering class of Washington insists that you only have credibility as a critic of the war if you were for it in the first place. I'm missing a logical link there.

Molly Ivins writes in this space every month. Her latest book is "Who Let the Dogs In?"