Dr Miriam: OUT OF TOUCH.

Byline: Dr Miriam Stoppard

Dear Miriam MY childhood was very rigid and unaffectionate. The only touching I experienced was when my father slapped me for being naughty.

I got married at 19 and sex with my husband was about just being there and letting him make use of me.

I divorced him when I was 40 and realized I wanted more.

But I'm still scared of being touched and my instinct is to back off. Is there any hope

for me?

YOU can learn to enjoy touch if that's what you want. But you won't magically step outside your comfort zone.

Counselling or hypnosis could help, or you might try massage at a health and beauty salon. You'll find it easier to relax your boundaries and get used to the idea touch can be enjoyable.

You have learned already that some men are not safe.

The joy that lies ahead of you is the discovery there are also men who are givers rather than takers, considerate rather than self-centred and protectors rather than abusers.