Double lives.

After seeing Jim McGreevey on your cover ["Happy. Gay. American," October 10], I wonder why The Advocate doesn't run a group shot of all the men who live double lives, lie to their wives, and sneak and cheat by having affairs with men while suffering from religious and professional anxiety--but not enough so to prevent them from lying to their wives. And then you might want to take a group photo of all the women they have lied to and then apologized to, as if that makes everything hunky-dory just because they finally got caught in their web of deceit.

I find it deplorable that men like McGreevey and my ex-husband, Jonathan Plummer, still see themselves as victims. Their wives did not put them in the closet, and based on the number of openly gay men who have never slept with, dated, or married women and who were also religious, I applaud their bravery. And now McGreevey has written a book describing his despicable behavior as if he had no other choice. It's total bullshit, and seeing in on the cover of your magazine and for 10 minutes on Oprah made me want to throw up. He is promoting a book that will not help anyone who has [lied] and still lies to their girlfriends and wives. And to justify their behavior while committing adultery simply because they are using being gay as some sort of tax shelter is hypocritical. He, like my ex-husband, have both pimped the gay community to applaud his bravery and to sympathize with them. But the truth is, they are both liars who cheated on their wives while having promiscuous sex with men.

Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, but lying and hurting others while still practicing their so-called repressed sexual and emotional attraction to other men does not excuse [their acts of betrayal]. As an FYI, I would vote for an openly gay candidate for any public office as long as he or she was honest and had the best interest of the public at heart. I would assume that they are American.

TERRY McMILLAN Danville, Calif.