Do salty old sea dogs have the best chat-up lines?

Byline: LAURA DAVIS 

OOH arr, me hearties, you be having a mighty fine day? Those dear readers aware that yesterday was International Talk Like a Pirate Day will be thinking those words a bit tardy.

But as Liverpool is a port city, we could take the advice of the annual festival's organisers and use swashbuckling vernacular every day.

Why? Because, according to Mark Summers, aka Cap'n Slappy, "it gives your conversation a swagger, an elan, denied to landlocked lubbers".

Why not? Well, even the Cap'n admits "it's a little hard to articulate why to do it when you've made the mistake of referring to your wife as a scurvy bilge rat and tried to order her back into the galley".

It can also be a little confusing. A Daily Post colleague tried to get into the swing of it earlier this week with a rousing cry of "Who's a pretty boy then?"

When it was pointed out to her that it was not in fact International Talk Like a Parrot Day, she seemed to think that would have been a less silly option.

The idea for the theme was conceived during a racquetball game in 1995, when Cap'n Slappy, then known simply as Mark, and a friend found themselves slipping into pirate slang.

They had so much fun that they decided to launch an annual day, which they celebrated alone for around seven years before it caught on across the US thanks to the inter net.

Yesterday was the first time it was being substantially marked in this country. But if that is news to you and you feel you've missed out, don't worry. It will give you plenty of time to practise for next year.

Usefully, Cap'n Slappy offers some tips for mastering pirate lingo. Firstly there are the five words you cannot do without: "Ahoy!", "Avast!" (stop and give attention), "Aye!" (I agree most heartily), "Aye aye!" (I'll get right on with that) and "Arrr!" (yes/I agree/I'm happy/almost anything else you want to say in just two words because you can't be bothered tackling an entire sentence).

Other suggestions include doubling up on all your adjectives. Pirates never say never, they say "No nay ne'er!"

Drop all the "g"s at the end of words (just like in Scouse), ditch your "v"s in words like "ne'er", "e'er"and "o'er". Finally, talk in the present tense. Instead of saying "I am", pirates say "I be".

Another reason for adopting piratespeak is that it provides some unusual chat-up lines should the usual "Is that a ladder in your tights?" or "Your father must have been a thief because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes" become tired.

Cap'n Slappy and his crew came up with a list which they sent to American chat-show host David Letterman to tempt him to invite them on to the prog ramme.

Sadly, he declined but the following still might come in useful if you spot a fair maiden/salty seadog on a Mersey Ferry:

"That's the finest pirate booty I've ever laid eyes on" or "I've sailed the seven seas and you're the sleekest schooner I've ever sighted."

Especially useful for the World in One City, you can also find mp3 sound files on the International Pirate Day's official website (www.talklikeapirate.com) that will demonstrate how to do it in German, Swedish and Mandarin Chinese.

There is also an English to Pirate translator and links to quizzes that help you figure out your swashbuckling name (mine was Dirty Mary, I won't be adopting it as a byline) and your pirate personality.

After answering questions like "When engaged in a life and death battle with the dread pirate hunter, Captain Snotty, my weapon of choice is .... A. A dagger and cutlass, B. A dagger and chum bucket, C. A bag of feral cats or D. My witty repartee and cutting fashion comments", it turns out that I am a potential Cap'n.

Apparently I am able to "slit the throats of any scallawag who stands between me and the mantle of power".

So if you're not taking the idea of Inter national Pirate Day seriously you should watch out.

It gives conversation a swagger denied to landlocked lubbers

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