Diablo Valley exposed.

TRAVELING DUE EAST from San Francisco through the East Bay hills via the Caldecott Tunnel deposits one in the Diablo Valley. Once here there are a plethora of spots to be killed-hubbas, gaps, ledges, and most importantly, rails. The DV has heaps of 'em-big ones, small ones, short ones, tall ones, square ones, ugly ones...and where there are rails, there are skaters. Though the DV is just now becoming a traveling destination for skaters, a large group of natives have been developing their skills for years. These guys are the unsung heroes. They are the guys at the local skatepark that every nine-year-old idolizes, the guy always fielding questions about his sponsorship status. Of course, when the groins' hunch is left unconfirmed and no sponsorship is present, the attention afforded them gradually wanes and recedes back to little Jimmy's older brother whom, rumor has it, once kickflipped off the high school gymnasium. But hey, these are the harsh realities of life. The fact that most of the Diablo Valley skate rs are relatively unknown just adds fuel to the fire. The sessions here go on a little longer and new spots are sought out like pirate booty. These guys have fully-detailed maps and everything; you can bet that whomever is steering the ship has those maps locked away in a treasure chest somewhere. Come to think of it, the scene here in the DV is strikingly similar to how the Buccaneers operated in the age of piracy past.

DV skaters forgo the instinct of the herd, opting instead for smaller crews. Each crew is pirated by a captain (aka the dude with the car). All crews share a common goal: seek, find, and destroy (I guess you would call it pillaging). So now that the secret is out, make the journey to one of skate-boarding's best kept secrets, seek out one of the following local crews, make friends (good old-fashioned bribery appreciated), and explore the bountiful treasure.

The Swashbuckling Squirrels

Spots: Metro curb & couch, Federal Terrace rail, Voorhees rail

Scurvy Dogs: Joel, Cameron, Jason, Boo Boo, Luke, Clinton, Cody, PR Kyle, AJ, Josh, Rodzilla, MF, Magee

THE MOST HEAVILY-ARMED of all the crews, the Squirrels are ready for the throw down. Oiled pocket knives, bricks, slingshots, kitchen sinks--hell, even when unarmed these swashbucklers pack a mean punch. Security guards are often reduced to tears upon encountering the Squirrels' deadly verbiage. I've witnessed a stacked security guard rendered powerless when hit with the phrase "toy cop." A middle school security guard was barraged so hard about his sexual orientation he was left yelling "I'll put you somewhere where they will stick you in the ass, punk." It takes real skill to bring a security guard to the boiling point, and the Squirrels have it in large amounts. Don't flick with the Squirrels!

As far as skills on four wheels, these guys are tops. Every obstacle is skated with the same reckless abandon, from the curb out front of Metro to Olympic-size swimming pools. Imagination plays a key role in the Squirrels' spot-finding process. By closing my eyes tightly and opening them again I see a wheel chair ramp turned into a bank and a 2x4 transformed into a ledge. The skit's fun to skate, and damned if the Squirrels are going to be left out due to lack of vision. Some of the exuberance comes from the fact that most of the crew is under 16. Though young, they skate with the casual grace of those twice their age--hook up with the Squirrels and you are bound to have fun--they are the next generation, soon the world will know. Holla.

Superstar Schooner 

Spots: Northgate rail, Park rail, Boyd 9, Compo rail

Scoundrels: Corey, Graham, Shu, Brandon, Kevin, Stephen

Guest Scoundrels: Anyone who knows Duffel or Rodzilla

THE MOST INFAMOUS CREW this side of the Caldecott, members of the SS Superstar gain notoriety with each passing month. Captain Duffel, who once packed inches onto every mag's gossip column, now prefers to pack on the pounds via photo incentive checks from all his well-deserved press as of late. The most rough-and-tumble of all the crews, Corey and his mates are down to take a hit. Corey's sternum resembles a Thanksgiving wishbone, post-snapping and supposedly all healed up. The guys elbow has the range of motion of my gas gauge which continuously flirts between empty and the "Best be ready to walk your ass home" redline. Another crew member's ankle has a permanent eggplant-like hue, but that's only when he's at 100-percent. When injured, that Stones song "Paint it Black" comes to mind. Within the last year these guys have amassed nine broken bones between them. That's almost a bone a month, and this ain't the kind of bone you want to brag to all your friends about. From deck hand to captain, a common spirit e xists among crew members. Like the bands these guys draw inspiration from, their skating is hard, fast, and loud. Their attire is retro punk but their approach to skating is characteristic of a new generation. "Live fast, die young, and leave a pretty corpse."

The Mionight Marauoers

Spots: BofA parking lot, blood bank, Tom's box

Stowaways: Brian, Tom, Nick, Gary, and Matt

MOTIVATION RUNS DEEP within the crew. Upon encountering a crack in the runway, these guys are the first to whip out the bondo. Half the spots in this article would not have been skateable if the Marauders didn't step up with the proper tools. Some of this may be pirate lore but I've heard that within their cargo lies a solar-powered generator and enough Halogen lamps to illuminate Pac Bell Park. It's a good thing for the illumination, because these dudes don't wake up until late afternoon. Un-skateable is unspeakable to them--if it has a remote possibility of being ridden, these fools go right to it. There's definitely work for these guys in the construction business when they want to get real jobs (let's hope that doesn't happen).

The most technical of all the crews, the Marauders' tricks are sampled and resampled with amazing combinations, but while their tricks are on-point their humor is slightly off-beat. Brian's fascination with ear muffs and the male buttocks are decidedly un-funny, but elicit laughs nonetheless while one wonders what he could be thinking. More than likely his thoughts drift to new tricks and new spots even while he's speaking. The Marauders' focus on progression insures that the DV will be known as more than just rail Heaven. As long as this crew is around new spots will be found (or created), and these five guys will rep them to the fullest.

So what are you waiting for? The photos on these pages are a small percentage of what awaits you. I hear one dude's spot list is well over 100. Do what you have to do, kiss Corey's ass, drop some money at Metro, wait by the hardware store for one of the Marauders to load up on supplies--whatever it takes, just make the voyage to Diablo Valley and begin the game of one-upping the locals. Get some, fool.

RELATED ARTICLE: Interview with a Diablo Valley Bad Ass

ANY SKATEBOARD SCENE at anytime has had key people behind it. Dogtown had Stecyk and friends, the Badlands had Salba and crew, the pier has McBride and gang, and on and on. The valley is no different--it started with Wade, then Anderson and Staba moved, and now Duffel gets the credit. While Corey is the prince of Diablo, Joel Jutagir is the king. Joel is tops when it comes to finding spots, getting heads motivated, providing a place to chill for the loc's, and most importantly destroying all that he finds. Definitely a hero to the kids in the 'hood, Joel is relatively unknown to the masses. It just wouldn't be right to have an article about the DV without getting some insight from its number one underground shred dog.

Why did you move to the Diablo Valley?

For the spots--that and I was paying 400 bucks to live in someone's closet. Somehow I found my way to the DV hoping to upgrade to a bedroom. I ended up living in my shop for a year though; this place is fuckin expensive, filled with yuppies in Beamers.

What's the best thing about this place?

The spots are unknown and there's always new ones popping up. They stay mellow too, until you bring the superstars out here...assholes!

Worst thing?

The skaters are just as undercover as the spots. The locals deserve coverage, we just keep getting the same excuse: "Why should I put this guy in the mag? No one knows who he is." Then the same trick at the same place comes up with pro douche bag number one in it--no respect I tell ya. That and the ground out here always needs to be worked on, nothing out here is perfect. This definitely isn't LA.

Spot finding secrets?

The nightlife out here sucks, so we have excess time on our hands. We have a Thomas guide with all the schools flagged and we cross 'em off as we go along. I also pay the little kids in product if they find something new--15-stair perfect rail might get you a board; a used-up waxed ledge gets you a sticker.

Are you OK with the nickname Duffeland?

It's understandable, Corey is the first one of us to make an impact. It should be called Metroland though, or maybe Squirrel Country--but you can't always get what you want. If it's going to stay Duffeland, then every time he skates he should have to wear the same outfit as Duffman on The Simpsons--it only seems right.