Printer Friendly
The Free Library
14,669,765 articles and books
Member login
User name  
Password 
 
Join us Forgot password?

Decision 2004: I've always wanted a lawyer. I have a plumber, but it's not the same.


I've always wanted my own lawyer. Even though I've come this far without one, I still envy people who, with obvious satisfaction, can say, "I'll see what my lawyer thinks about that." Having a lawyer elevates one's status in life and suggests a higher level of security than you get with, say, your own plumber, which I do have.

But it's not the same. Granted, no one would argue that a plumber is, in almost every way, far more useful than a lawyer. But invoking his name after a minor car accident doesn't quite carry the authority desired. "You think this was MY fault?! Well, you'll be hearing from my plumber about this!"

Coincidentally, Sojourners doesn't have a plumber, but it does have a lawyer. Nice guy, I'm told, although I've never seen him around the office. And if I did see him, presumably pre·sum·a·ble  
adj.
That can be presumed or taken for granted; reasonable as a supposition: presumable causes of the disaster.
 he would not be wearing a heavy tool belt that made his workpants ride low on his hips, exposing more information than necessary while bending down to repair a leaky legal brief, or whatever it is that lawyers do.

Lately our lawyer has been giving us a lot of advice about what nonprofit organizations can and cannot publish during an election year. Sojourners is a 501(c)(3), a federal nonprofit designation which, as I recall, was also the name of that robot in Star Wars. But then Star Wars is a copyright-protected motion picture that our lawyer advises we shouldn't even mention. (In that movie the robot also had an intimate friendship with a little robot called R2D R2D Return To Dominate (sports battle cry) 2. Not that there's anything wrong with that. And we imply nothing about their relationship, which, according to according to
prep.
1. As stated or indicated by; on the authority of: according to historians.

2. In keeping with: according to instructions.

3.
 our lawyer, is also none of our business.)

Obviously, our lawyer is a cautious man. While he understands Sojourners' calling to speak the truth to power, he doesn't see why we have to do it out in public, as opposed to, say, inside a windowless room someplace some·place  
adv. & n.
Somewhere: "I didn't care where I was from so long as it was someplace else" Garrison Keillor. See Usage Note at everyplace.
. "Just talk amongst yourselves," our attorney suggests, "preferably using telepathy telepathy, supposed communication between two persons without recourse to the senses. The word was formulated in 1882 by Frederic William Henry Myers, English poet, essayist, and a leading founder of the Society for Psychical Research in London. , so that nobody actually hears you and gets offended." In other words Adv. 1. in other words - otherwise stated; "in other words, we are broke"
put differently
, don't bother people with your prophetic opinions, he tells us, especially innocent people minding their own business, such as politicians, or the federal government.

TO WHICH I reply "pshaw pshaw  
interj.
Used to indicate impatience, irritation, disapproval, or disbelief.
," maybe even a stronger "feh!" Sojourners will not be silenced. Not by governments, political extremists, or attorneys on retainer. (I had a retainer once ... never mind.) We will not hide our light under a bushel bushel: see English units of measurement.  (no!), or confine our powerful words of truth to a small room. Unless there'll be snacks.

But snacks aside, the mission of Sojourners has always been to preach the gospel of peace and reconciliation to a troubled world. We do this from a deep sense of calling, and also because, let's face it, Spiderman can't do it alone.

Unfortunately, the first rule of nonprofits--take no partisan political positions--has been difficult in this critical election year. (The second rule--make no profit--we're already good at.) This is probably the most important vote of our lives and, despite our lawyer's risk-aversion, a clear moral voice is needed. And since "moral" is our middle name (actually, it was "Beatrice," but we changed it), we feel we have no choice but to endorse a candidate. Our nation is desperate for a positive outcome of this election, even if neither candidate is a plumber and, as a consequence, not particularly useful.

AND SPEAKING of lawyers, let's look at the two candidates (Ralph Nader This page is currently protected from editing until (UTC) or until disputes have been resolved. , put your hand down). John Kerry Editing of this page by unregistered or newly registered users is currently disabled due to vandalism.  is the Democratic nominee and he is running an aggressive campaign to bring a just end to the Vietnam War Vietnam War, conflict in Southeast Asia, primarily fought in South Vietnam between government forces aided by the United States and guerrilla forces aided by North Vietnam. . Never mind that it's been over for a while. He's focused.

George Bush, the Republican nominee, is currently the president, and he may have been a little unprepared for his own war, as revealed in this recent White House meeting with Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld:

RUMSFELD: We've got more trouble in Iraq.

BUSH: Where?

RUMSFELD: Najaf.

BUSH: Gesundheit ge·sund·heit  
interj.
Used to wish good health to a person who has just sneezed.



[German, health, from Middle High German gesuntheit, from gesunt, healthy
.

To us the choice is clear. Only one man can lead our nation into a dangerous and uncertain future, a future that may be filled with actions of shocking unpredictability, such as Dick Cheney helping an old person across the street. It's time for Sojourners to endorse the best candidate for the job, and that man is Subscribe to Sojourners!

Ed Spivey Jr. is art director of Sojourners.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Sojourners
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 2004, Gale Group. All rights reserved. Gale Group is a Thomson Corporation Company.

 Reader Opinion

Title:

Comment:



 

Article Details
Printer friendly Cite/link Email Feedback
Title Annotation:HUMOR
Author:Spivey, Ed, Jr.
Publication:Sojourners
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Oct 1, 2004
Words:733
Previous Article:The sweetness of repentance.(BIBLE STUDY)(Faith)
Next Article:Inside story.(Editorial)
Topics:



Related Articles
There will always be a market for top lawyers - Chemerinsky. (law professor Erwin Chemerinsky)(Who's Who Law)(Interview)
Forgive me, solicitor. (confessions to a criminal attorney by his clients)
Certiorari attorney Gene Schwartz mourned.(Obituary)
Washington focus.
Legal perspective: once defense counsel to celebrity clients, Howard Weitzman takes new approach to law career. (People).(Interview)
The road less traveled: you've survived the Socratic method, learned to `think like a lawyer,' passed the bar exam, and scored a few pieces of...
A trial lawyer's legacy.(President's Page)
Lawyers funding Kerry campaign at record levels.(Up Front)
Attorneys increase involvement in medical peer review.(health law practice)
Attorney refuses to let his musical talent just wither.(Entertainment)

Terms of use | Copyright © 2009 Farlex, Inc. | Feedback | For webmasters | Submit articles