Dear Miriam: Lover's a bi-guy; ADVICE.

Byline: DR. MIRIAM STOPPARD

Dear Miriam,

My boyfriend of 11 months has just come out to me as bisexual and says he wants to date men. When he was at college, he had a crush on a boy on his course and they went out for a few weeks but he was never comfortable with being gay.

I love him and want him to be happy. He says there are no other women he's interested in and we can still have a relationship. Lots of couples aren't monogamous and he'll always practise safe sex. Even if he is hyper-careful about sex, I can't see how we can make this work. Can you?

Lily

Dear Lily,

No - and your boyfriend's not being fair to you. He's very cleverly trying to have his cake and eat it.

It seems he wants to explore his sexuality from the safety of your current relationship. If he decides a same-sex relationship isn't for him, he'll still have you. And if a gay relationship does turn out to be everything he wants, you won't be too surprised if he leaves you.

He should have the courage to explore this new direction on his own and you should have the courage to give him the freedom to get on with it and not hang around for the final outcome.

Additional research: MADELEINE BAILEY