Dear Miriam: Lesbian love secret; ADVICE.Byline: DR. MIRIAM STOPPARD Dear Miriam, A few months ago our married daughter asked her husband for a divorce. He thinks she's lost interest in him and they can sort everything out if he tries harder. But she's confided in us she's having a relationship with another married woman and they regularly go to a local hotel to be together. She believes she's in love and thinks the relationship is worth all the unhappiness. We hate to see her suffering but we feel powerless to do anything except offer advice, which she's been ignoring. She is 40. Shirley Dear Shirley, It must be very difficult to look your son-in-law in the eye and not feel guilty about knowing your daughter's secret. It's also very hard to see someone we love struggle with their sexual orientation sexual orientation n. The direction of one's sexual interest toward members of the same, opposite, or both sexes, especially a direction seen to be dictated by physiologic rather than sociologic forces. . Some people know they're gay from a very early age, while others take years, even a lifetime, to come to grips with who and what turns them on in bed. It's possible her sexual attraction to women - or to this woman in particular - will pass, but don't count on it. No matter what your beliefs, fears or prejudices, you need to let her know she'll have your support. For yourselves, contact Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (FFLAG) is a voluntary organisation and registered charity in the United Kingdom which offers support to parents and their lesbian/gay children. (FFLAG FFLAG Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (UK) ) on 0845 652 0311. |
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