Dear Miriam: Could she love my spanking fetish? ADVICE.
I'm divorced and, for the past three months, I've been dating a wonderful woman. Things couldn't be better between us and I don't want to spoil anything.
I'm not a violent person, far from it - I'm sensitive in the extreme. But I do have a spanking fetish which I've been keeping to myself. Spanking was a regular part of my sex life during my marriage and it's the only part I really miss.
I long to tell my girlfriend I want her to spank me but I'm frightened she'll be shocked, laugh or finish with me. I would never want her to think badly of me. What should I do?
Just as women are encouraged to tell their men what they like in bed, men can do the same. If you see this as a longterm relationship, keeping quiet and being constantly frustrated will only create tension between you.
Tell her spanking's your thing but brace yourself for disappointment that she'll never find it exciting or erotic.
If she should agree, you'll need to be sensitive to her inexperience and ease her into it. If you're too rough or too controlling she'll be turned off.
Spanking enthusiasts reckon people who engage in the habit are more likely to be sexually adventurous and have a broader sexual repertoire than most.
Perhaps there's something else you can both enjoy?