Dear MIRIAM: Spare us from a holiday hell; LETTER OF THE DAY.

Byline: Dr MIRIAM STOPPARD 

Dear Miriam I'VE been married for 15 years and it's lasted that long only because we moved away from my husband's family.

His mother used to interfere all the time and it drove me mad because she criticised every little thing.

Luckily my husband got a great job in another part of the country that he couldn't turn down.

But every year his parents expect us to spend our two-week summer holiday with them.

My sons complain we don't go anywhere else.

I think we've sacrificed enough foreign holidays over the years, sitting on my mother-in-law's sofa listening to her grumbles.

The boys and I have been looking at brochures and have chosen our dream holiday but my husband won't listen. How can I change his mind?.

YOU may have good reason to feel irritated by your in-laws, but they're your husband's parents and he loves them.

Is it really so terrible that he reconnects with his relatives for two weeks of the year?

Remember, accepting your husband unconditionally means being civil to his parents, even if they are difficult and you don't like their company.

Maybe a compromise is possible. It's understandable your husband wouldn't suddenly want to cut the number of visits your family makes to them but maybe they can be a little shorter.

A week or a weekend here and there might leave enough time and money for a holiday somewhere else. Could he visit them alone sometimes? What about having holidays with his parents one year and the next year going abroad?

But, when you talk to your husband about this, be careful not to make it sound as if you're complaining about his parents. That will only make him defensive.

Instead, your angle should be a fun new family adventure, something the boys will always remember. Do your best to assure him that your appetite for a different type of holiday has nothing to do with your in-laws.

Discuss what you both want from the holiday so you choose wisely. Then you won't end up feeling cheated or disappointed

CAPTION(S):

MUM-IN-LAW: She loves to interfere