Dear MIRIAM: ROUGH LOVE.

Byline: Dr MIRIAM STOPPARD

Dear Miriam I'VE always had a healthy sexual appetite but I find my new partner too demanding.

Maybe it's because I've just celebrated my 50th birthday and I'm beginning to slow down but sex feels more like a chore than a pleasure these days.

His idea of foreplay is a quick grope and straight on to the main event. He can be rough and I often feel sore and uncomfortable afterwards.

Snuggling up with a good book seems infinitely more preferable to having sex with my partner.

YOUR lover seems self-centered and sexually inconsiderate. It's no wonder your sex drive is in the doldrums.

For the situation to improve you must speak up for yourself. Let him know you're tired of being treated like a sex object to keep him satisfied and you want more foreplay.

Sex without foreplay is like running a marathon the minute you wake up, without doing any warming-up exercises first.

He doesn't have to spend hours searching for the G spot and fondling your erogenous zone - it's the romance, the sensuality that really does it - so tell him what you want.

This is about much more than sexual respect; it's about respect for all your rights as a person.