Dear MIRIAM: DON'T LET THEM INTERFERE; HERE'S MIRIAM'S VERDICT.

Byline: Dr Miriam Stoppard

PARENTS are well known for interfering in the lives of their children and many aren't slow in coming forward to criticise prospective partners if they take a dislike to them.

Almost as often, however, children feel they have the right - and the freedom - to interfere in the lives of their parents, especially if mum or dad is a widow, a widower or a divorcee.

Both parents and children try to justify this intervention with claims of simply being protective or wanting to look after mum's or dad's best interests when a wicked world might not.

It strikes me that neither parents nor children can really know what's in the best interests of the other.

How can they fully appreciate the love that's felt or how the other might feel the need to be loved? Or the need for companionship? My stance has always been that it's nobody else's business whom we choose as a partner.

We may be aware of his or her faults and failings, but these pale into insignificance when we stand them alongside all the positive things we gain.

No one else can come up with the bottom line of this emotional profit and loss account. And if we were wrong, and parents or children were right all along, we have the right to make that mistake too.

When it comes to money, the same applies. It's Tricia's money and hers to do with as she pleases, not Sara's.

Similarly, it's her house and hers to let out or dispose of, and it's none of Sara's business.

It's hard for a mother to tell her daughter to butt out but that's just what Tricia should do, especially as Sara's real motivation could be keeping her mother's nest-egg for herself.