Dear MIRIAM: Bets send our debts soaring; LETTER OF THE DAY.Byline: Dr MIRIAM STOPPARD Dear Miriam MY husband has always gambled and it wasn't too much of a problem until recently. Our building business failed six months ago and now we're broke. We owe the bank, credit card firms, friends and family, and we can't pay the mortgage on our beautiful home. I've found a full-time job as a waitress working double shifts, and I'm exhausted emotionally and physically. I can't sleep with the worry but, as a gambler, my husband doesn't take financial problems seriously. He believes a big win is round the corner and everything will be fine. He's now taken up online gambling Online gambling is a general term for gambling using the Internet. This article provides a brief introduction to some of the forms of online gambling, as well as discussing general issues. but he walks away when I try to talk about it. I love him but I can't cope. Would it be so wrong to give up on a strong marriage because of financial problems? THESE are huge, life destroying, problems. Your life is out of control and unmanageable. For gamblers there's a rock bottom, and they know when they have reached it. Your husband is still in denial in denial Psychiatry To be in a state of denying the existence or effects of an ego defense mechanism. See Denial. , so what next? His unrealistic notion that a big win is round the corner is simply digging you deeper and deeper into debt. The risk of losing your home isn't an exaggerated one. Your husband is gambling recklessly and desperately - and it will get worse not better. You need to get in touch with your nearest Citizens Advice Bureau or a debt counselling agency like the Consumer Credit Counselling Service The Consumer Credit Counselling Service (CCCS) is a registered charity in the United Kingdom which has has followed the creditor funded American model of debt counselling. CCCS is currently the largest debt advice charity in the UK, and is funded entirely by the credit industry. on 0800 1381111. It won't make pretty reading but you need to know the extent of the debt and examine solutions with their help. GamAnon gives support and encouragement for families and friends of compulsive gamblers, and helps them to understand the problem and overcome it. You can attend a meeting or call their helpline helpline Noun a telephone line set aside for callers to contact an organization for help with a problem helpline n → teléfono de asistencia al público , 08700 508880, regardless of whether your husband attends Gamblers Anonymous. You have loved and supported him in spite of his addiction, unlike many partners of gamblers who become bitter, cynical and unloving. The big question is does he love you enough to stop walking away from the problem and accept responsibility for himself? Being a martyr martyr Person who voluntarily suffers death rather than deny his or her religion. Readiness for martyrdom was a collective ideal in ancient Judaism, notably in the era of the Maccabees, and its importance has continued into modern times. to his addiction is really too much to ask of you. CAPTION(S): BIG LOSER: He can't face reality |
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