Dear Gordon, Perhaps what I meant to say was ... Paddy SHENNAN.

Likes: Pubs, Everton and Half Man Half Biscuit. Hates: Everything else.

THE MP'S resignation letter is a curious thing, not least because it often appears to be aimed as much at the public as the departing individual's boss.

Knowing the letter will be debated and dissected - and probably carries more weight than 10 parliamentary speeches put together - gives the author enormous power.

Last week, explaining her decision to stand down at the next general election, Crosby's Claire Curtis-Thomas told Gordon Brown (and the world): "...there comes a time when you have to think hard about your commitments, and the time you spend away from your family and the difficulties, stresses and strains that ensue. For some reason known to a collection of moribund male MPs, disconnected I presume from the day to day care requirements of a family, Parliamentarians still work ludicrous hours and I am no longer happy to walk the streets home at 12 o'clock at night having finished work an hour or so earlier. It is neither sensible nor practical."

"Moribund male MPs?" Excellent alliteration, but pretty harsh - bearing in mind moribund can mean "at the point of death" as well as "lacking vitality".

But perhaps that was all a smokescreen. Perhaps what she really meant to say was: "Dear Gordon, I won't insult you or anyone else by coming out with some old bull about having to work 'ludicrous hours' because I've known the score for each and every day of my 12 long years as a well-paid MP.

"The thing is, my constituency has been carved up and, at the next election, myself and many Labour voters fear that Tory candidate Debi Jones will be favourite to be elected to represent newly-formed Sefton Central (even though she was involved in the infamous, but failed, attempt to get Antony Gormley's Iron Men removed from Crosby beach). Basically, I've had a good run but don't really fancy my chances next year.

"Have you thought about trying to persuade local girl Cherie Blair to 'do a Hilary Clinton' by putting herself forward? I know she's not your biggest fan, but it might just put the willies up a few people.

"Or perhaps you could get one of the Iron Men to stand (no pun intended). They're so popular, they'd probably walk it! (again, no pun intended). Best of luck (you might need it), Claire Curtis-Thomas."