Dear Carol.

Dear Carol,

At dances, my boyfriend dances with me but also with other girls (who are supposed to be just friends). I think he just wants everyone to have a good time, but it makes me jealous. He's my boyfriend, and I want him all to myself.

--Jealous

Dear Jealous,

Many boyfriends feel smothered by girlfriends who want them all to themselves. If you and your BF trust each other, try really, really hard not to be sooooo jealous. It will only put him off and make you miserable. Your BF sounds like a gentleman and a sweetheart! I assume it's OK with him if you talk or dance with other guys, which is the way it should be. You should be comfortable dancing with each other and other people, too! On the other hand, if he's dancing too eagerly with certain girls or holding someone too closely, tell him it makes you feel funny--no point in sitting back while your guy waltzes out the door with someone else. Basically, a little jealousy is natural and inevitable. But when the jealousy is eating you up, it may be a warning there's a bigger problem.

Dear Carol,

I have a crush on this guy. What now?

--Crushful

Dear Crushful,

If he's someone else's BF, do nothing. If he's a sweet, available guy, smile and say "hi." If he smiles back, ask about things that interest him, like music, movies or vacation plans. It's OK if he notices you're happy to see him-but then try to figure out if he seems happy to see you, too. Should you ask him if he likes you back? No. He might not want to answer, or he might not give the answer you want. Flirting is fine, but don't rush a crush.

Dear Carol,

My family and I are going on vacation this summer, and I don't want to go. I'm scared to fly after Sept. 11.

--Nervous

Dear Nervous,

I understand your nervousness, but it's important to overcome fears and live your life. Don't forgo your summer plans or stay home when you can go places. Plan ahead, and pack your carry-on bag with magazines, books, music, a diary, sketchpad, stationery, snacks and a favorite stuffed animal! Keep yourself busy, and think happy, positive thoughts. Remember, too, that while everything comes with risks, statistically, air travel is super safe--much safer than car travel. Will you love the flight? Maybe not. But you will love your vacation.

Dear Carol,

Get Over or Go Out?

I really like this guy. He knows it, but he's not interested. I think he's perfect. How can I either get over him or get him to go out with me?

Dear Get Over,

If you've shown an interest and he's shown none (sigh), please realize he is so not perfect because he doesn't appreciate wonderful you. Accept it. Study for finals or focus on riding lessons. Say "hi" to at least two new guys this week, and plan stuff with friends. While you're out having fun, you just might meet a new fellow--one who is interested. The best crushes come when you least expect it.

Dear Carol,

I wear a hearing aid. My so-called BFFs make fun of me when I can't hear them. How do I deal?

Frustrated 

Your friends make fun of you? That's so lame! Are you so sure they're true friends? Lots of people have hearing problems--or other issues-so hang in there. These are hard years, and some (insecure) girls go through a mean phase they probably will outgrow. For now, give your closest girlfriends a lesson in sensitivity. Tell them it hurts when they diss you, and ask if they'd mind sticking up for you instead. Remind them your hearing problem isn't your fault and that you do your best to keep up with the convo. They could help by not whispering or talking with their backs to you. Keep your eyes out for new friends, too, at camp or the pool. By the way, kids who overcome obstacles often become extremely strong and empathetic adults. You will, too.

Dear Frustrated,

Dear Carol,

Every time I go online, all my e-mails are the same dumb forwarded jokes and stupid chain letters that end with, "Send this to 10 people or your crush won't like you." Do my friends really think that if we keep sending each other the same things over and over, our crushes will care one way or the other?

--Enough E-mail

I don't know what your friends think, but I'm glad you don't feel pressured to forward every single piece of e-mail that comes your way. Ask your friends to send you only really good stuff. Or reply to emails, "Please stop sending forwards." And only send out personal mail. Pretty soon, people should figure out that you're not responding and remove you from their "forward" lists.

Dear Enough E-mail,

Dear Carol,

I can never find a swimsuit because I look terrible in everything. The hanging-out-in-a-tiny-bikini-for-three-months thing bums me out.

--Bathing Suit Bummed

Many people, including guys, feel the same way. Even models often confess they don't feel as radiant as they appear. Try to eat right, stay active, and hold your head high. The more confident you are, the better you'll look. And don't forget the sunscreen!

Dear Bathing Suit Bummed,

Dear Carol,

My neighbor has a crush on me. He's even throwing me a surprise birthday party (I found out). He's sweet and tells me I'm pretty all the time. He asked me out, but I turned him down because if we break up, we might never talk to each other again. I don't want to ruin the friendship.

--Loved by a Sweetie

Going out with a friend can be tricky, but it can also be a risk worth taking. Do you like him in a special way? Do you look forward to seeing him? Do you feel ready to have a boyfriend? Tell him you value his friendship and that's why you're hesitating to take it in a new direction. If the two of you do go out and break up, things don't have to be painfully awkward forever. Some sweeties manage to become friends again. Just let him know what's on your mind (and in your heart).

Dear Loved by a Sweetie,

Dear Carol,

My mom remarried last year, and we all went on vacation afterward. I saw this sweater I really wanted, and it was on sale. My mom didn't buy it for me. Later, she bought my stepsister a sweater that wasn't on sale. I felt so left out, and I said, "It's not fair. You hardly know her, and you bought her something instead of your own daughter." Also, my new stepfather and my mom were in the hot tub--nude! It made me upset and uncomfortable.

Upset

Dear Upset,

I can see why you're upset. You're adjusting to a lot of changes, and it's not easy to accept a stepdad and stepsister. It's especially tough to watch Mom accept and love them. Yet, it's understandable your mom is being generous to her stepdaughter and getting cozy with her new husband. Of course, your goal should be to become a combined family--not to go on forever with a "me vs. them" attitude. New families don't just fall into place immediately--major changes take a lot of work from everyone. As important as it is for your mom to make your stepfather and stepsister feel involved in your family life, it's not OK for her to ignore your feelings. Say. "Mom, I know how much this family means to you. I'm doing my best to make everything work. But it's hard, and I feel overlooked. I miss you, and I'd like just us to do something fun. Maybe Saturday morning?"

Dear Carol,

My 17-year-old brother hates me. He never talks to me anymore. He's going to college in the fall. I'm sure I'll miss him, but right now I can't wait for him to leave. Should I be happy or sad?

--Happy or Sad

Dear Happy or Sad,

A little of both is normal. My hunch is that your brother doesn't hate you. He's probably just all wrapped up in his own teenage guy stuff. Try talking to him 'or, better yet, ask his advice about something (he might be flattered). Or bargain with him tell him if he takes you 'to a movie, you'll send him the best care packages to college.

Carol Weston's brand new just-out novel is Melanie Martin Goes Dutch, a sequel to The Diary of Melanie Martin (Knopf). Her advice books are For Girls Only. Private and Personal, and Girltalk (Herper-Collins). Her website is carolweston.com. You can write Carol c/o Girls' Life, 4517 Harford Road, Baltimore, MD, 22214. For a reply, include a stamped self-addressed envelope. Carol is sorry she can't answer every question personally.