Dear Carol.Dear Carol, I went to Greece over the summer to meet my mom's best friend's son. We hit it off and even admitted that we love each other. But he never actually called me his girlfriend, and I haven't seen him in four months. In fact, we've hardly been in contact at all. Now, I like my sister's friend's brother. I feel kind of guilty about it. How could I explain to the guy in Greece that I suddenly have a boyfriend? My new crush is closer to home-and closer to my age. Don't I have a right to date who I want? In a Triangle Dear In a Triangle, Since the guy in Greece hasn't inundated in·un·date tr.v. in·un·dat·ed, in·un·dat·ing, in·un·dates 1. To cover with water, especially floodwaters. 2. you with e-mails, calls or letters, you are certainly free to date others, just as he is. You might never forget him, but that doesn't mean you have to be stuck in the past. Next time, don't be in such a hurry to say, "I love you." It's better to say, "I love being with you." Should you inform your faraway far·a·way adj. 1. Very distant; remote. 2. Abstracted; dreamy: a faraway look. faraway Adjective 1. very distant 2. friend of your new status? Not necessarily. Your morn can probably offer some advice since it's her friend's son. or send a holiday card signed in a friendly, non-romantic way. Chances are good that he too is noticing local girls--and that is perfectly fine. Dear Carol, I don't know Don't know (DK, DKed) "Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party. why, but I've felt like I need to back-talk my dad because he has so many rules--and most of them don't make sense. All I want lately is to be alone, but I never get any privacy. Going Crazy Dear Going Crazy, Your parents make rules because they love you. Feeling frustrated frus·trate tr.v. frus·trat·ed, frus·trat·ing, frus·trates 1. a. To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire; thwart: about it can be extra common during the holidays when parents and kids feel stressed over test-taking, present-buying and family reunions Often an annual event, a family reunion takes place on a specified day each year for the purpose of keeping an extended family closer together. Some reunions may be held less often. . Nevertheless, nix the back-talk. It backfires anyhow an·y·how adv. 1. In whatever way or manner; however: I'll cook it anyhow you like. They came anyhow they could  by boat, train, or plane. , right? Every so
often, when your dad is shouting the same old rules, say, "I see
your point," or, "Got it." If you act less annoyed, he
might be less strict. A heart-to-heart might also help. Tell him how you
feel without being sarcastic sar·cas·tic adj. 1. Expressing or marked by sarcasm. 2. Given to using sarcasm. [sarc(asm) + -astic, as in enthusiastic. . Toss in phrases like, "I realize you worry about me because you care." Deep down, dads want to protect their daughters-not drive them crazy. Dear Carol, My best guy friend and I do everything together, and I love hanging with him. I know we could be a good couple, but I'm scared we won't be friends anymore if there's a breakup breakup The division of a company into separate parts. The most famous breakup to date was the 1984 division of AT&T (formerly, American Telephone & Telegraph Company). This breakup was intended to increase competition in the communications industry. . I'm sure he's thought about it too. Even our friends say we look cute together. What To Do? Dear What To Do?, When you take a friendship to another level, there's always a risk. Some get tighter; others become awkward. True friendship is less fragile than romance. Still want more? Invite him to a dance or skating skating: see ice skating; ice dancing; roller skating. skating Sport in which bladelike runners or sets of wheels attached to shoes are used for gliding on ice or on surfaces other than ice. party (hand-holding required). Or invest in a sprig of mistletoe mistletoe, common name for the Loranthaceae, a family of chiefly tropical hemiparasitic herbs and shrubs with leathery evergreen leaves and waxy white berries. They have green leaves, but they manufacture only part of the nutrients they require. , and give him a light-hearted kiss underneath. It shows him you're giving him the green light--without going over the top. Dear Carol, I'm an only child, so I basically get both my parents' attention. That is usually good, but the things they like clash. My dad and I normally watch NASCAR NASCAR (National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing), organization that sanctions American stock-car races, est. 1948. It held its first race in Daytona Beach, Fla. races, while my morn and I get manicures or see chick flicks n. 1. A sentimental n. os>, movie. chick flick n (col) → filmetto rosa . I know that eventually I'll have to decide which is better, and I don't know what to think. Confused Dear Confused, Yours is the luckiest problem in my whole mailbox A simulated mailbox in the computer that holds e-mail messages. Mailboxes are stored on disk as a file of messages, a database of messages or as an individual file for each message. The standard mailboxes are usually In, Out, Trash and Junk (Spam). . How wonderful that you have two parents who both want to spend time with you. Why do you have to decide? You don't have to choose because the world is vast and you're finding out, little by little, who you are and what you like. You are not a carbon copy of your morn or your dad. You're the one-and-only you, and you may also discover new interests that neither parent shares. Dear Carol, I liked a guy who has a girlfriend, but I didn't know that. I wrote him a letter, and she found it and is very upset. Now What? Dear Now What?, This too will pass, especially since holiday break presses "pause" on school anxieties. For now, consider apologizing to the girl and explaining that you didn't know they were a couple. Next time, do not pour your feelings into a letter to someone you don't know very well. It's better to put them in a diary. Dear Carol, My aunt has breast cancer. I know most women get cured, but she has a really bad kind and my morn doesn't think she's going to make it. I don't know what to say to my aunt or anybody else. Can you help? Very Sad Dear Very Sad, I'm so sorry about your aunt. It is not easy to know what to say when faced with a terrible situation. Your aunt would probably appreciate a handmade hand·made adj. Made or prepared by hand rather than by machine. handmade Adjective made by hand, not by machine Adj. 1. card or fresh-baked cookies or anything that shows you're thinking of her. As for your mom She goes to the gym. ? She's sad too, so tell her how you feel. Let her know she doesn't have to hide her sadness. When there are no ideal words, a hug says a lot. Dear Carol, I'm afraid of getting French-kissed, but I want to be! What if I don't know how? Scared Dear Scared, There is no specific way to French-kiss. Besides, guys don't expect girls to be experts. When the boy you kiss is someone you care about, you will feel happy instead of anxiety-ridden. Dear Carol, My family has never had money problems, but I heard my parents talking about getting a loan to pay bills. This makes me uneasy. What should I do? Unsure Dear Unsure, You can choose not to take on this adult worry ... or you can ask about it. Say, "I heard you talking about bills. Are we financially OK?" Maybe they'll reassure you, or they might let you know it would be helpful if you don't beg for an iPod this Christmas. If that's the case, they may appreciate your concern as long as you don't act panic-stricken. Dear Carol, My uncle is getting married, and I want his fiancee to ask me to be a bridesmaid. Would it be rude to tell her that? Bridesmaid-to-Be Dear Bridesmaid-to-Be, I'm afraid so. She probably has her own relatives and friends who are hoping to be bridesmaids. Sometimes, kids and teens can be flower girls flower girl n. A young girl who carries flowers in a procession, especially at a wedding. Noun 1. flower girl - a woman who sells flowers in the street or candle-lighters or junior bridesmaids or the ones to encourage everyone to sign the guest book. But it's the couple who gets to plan their big day--and the wedding will be fun whether you are a guest or a participant. Dear Carol, I am 14 and a virgin but, ever since I was u, I've been doing everything except that. It's with my brother's friends, who are about two or three years older than I am. Is it wrong? I know none of the guys likes me. Boy Crazy Dear Boy Crazy, When it comes to sex, 14 is way, way too young--and u is alarmingly so. Say no to these guys, and yes to your self-respect. They are abusing you. I'm sorry your brother lets his friends take advantage of you. That is terrible! Please stay a virgin, and confide in a trusted adult who can help you start the new year in a much more positive way. Dear Carol, Lately, negative energy is flowing out of me in every direction. I hate everyone and everything, and I don't know why. It makes me cry, and I want it to stop. I want to be happy again, but it seems I never will be. I tell my morn about it, but I don't seem to get through to her. What's wrong with me? Unhappy Dear Unhappy, Lots of teens feel discouraged, and the vacation ahead (sleeping late! no homework!) might lift your spirits. That said. consider getting professional help. Start by talking with a school counselor A school counselor is a counselor and educator who works in schools, and have historically been referred to as "guidance counselors" or "educational counselors," although "Professional School Counselor" is now the preferred term. . Just venting can be a great relief. Or call a hotline for anonymous support. Phone the Covenant House Covenant House is the largest privately-funded childcare agency in the United States providing shelter and service to homeless and runaway youth. Locations and Services Nineline at 1-800-999-9999 anytime, or talk to trained teens at the Teen Line Teen Line is a teen help hotline based in the Cedars Sinai hospital in Los Angeles, California. There is also a branch in Reseda and, most recently, one in Riverside. The line is open nightly from 6:00 P.M. to 10:00. in the evenings at (310) 855-HOPE. Since your morn isn't hearing you, reach out to your father or aunt. Even a few therapy sessions can make a big difference. Dear Carol, My best friend is really mean to me sometimes. She calls me "idiot" a lot. She thinks it's no big deal, but it is! It's not how friends should treat each other, but I keep letting her insult me anyway. After we fight, she always e-mails me to tell me I'm her best friend and that she loves me. Tired of It Dear Tired of It, You say you keep "letting" her insult you. Make it totally clear that you will no longer tolerate her insulting you. Next time she acts mean, calmly and firmly tell her, "It's not OK to insult me and then later apologize. If you want to stay friends--and I would like to--you have to stop dissing me." Some girls have a lot of anger, but that doesn't give them permission to take it out on their nearest and dearest buds. Your BFF BFF Best Friends Forever (chat) BFF Best Foot Forward BFF Ben Folds Five (band) BFF Born Free Foundation BFF Binary File Format BFF Boston Film Festival BFF Biotech Finance Forum needs to know that if she keeps putting down friends, she'll lose them. Want more advice? Carol Weston's books include Girltalk: Fourth Edition and For Girls Only (HarperCollins). Her four Melanie Martin novels include Melanie in Manhattan (Knopf). Her website is carolweston.com. You can also write Dear Carol, Girls' Life Girls' Life (ガールズライフ Gāruzu Raifu , 4517 Harford Road, Baltimore, MD 21214. For a reply, include a stamped self-addressed envelope. She is sorry she can't answer every question personally--though she tries! |
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