Dead-letter office.

Maybe Bill Clinton went too far. During last year's campaign, he promised to save the taxpayers lots of money by cutting the White House staff. And he delivered on that promise by eliminating some 389 jobs at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue--a reduction of about 25 per cent. Critics carp that the cutback will save only about $3.5 million--a far cry from the $10 million Clinton pledged to pare from his Presidential payroll. Still, he may have overdone it.

I understand that there are volunteers who handle the White House mail and make sure that the appropriate form letters are sent out to the scores of thousands of Americans who write to their President. But those volunteers do work under some sort of staff supervision--or are supposed to. And there, I suspect, is where many of the staff reductions must have taken place. For months now I've been hearing from people who received baffling responses to their letters to the President.

Take, for example, Carl Nelson of Waukegan, Illinois. Last summer, he decided to write his first letter ever to the President of the United States. It was a good letter:

"I simply cannot contain myself," he wrote. "Tax money is being spent on space stations which accomplish absolutely nothing for the average American and on more weapons research for greater killing technology. We are being established as the number one terrorist in the world by 'Tomahawking' innocent civilians who, I'm sure, have as much to say in what their government does as I do.

"Back at home, Americans still have no health care, no food, no jobs, no homes, and apparently no hope. Crime is running rampant in our streets, the saddest part of this being that the picture could change if the needs of America came before the big money and the special interests. I watched Bill Clinton, the sax-playing candidate of the baby-boom generation, allow his promise of national health care to erode to allow for the continued prosperity of the insurance and AMA lobbies.

"NAFTA threatens to send even more American jobs to other countries, with the byproduct being a further slide in almost nonexistent quality controls. Grain still rots in silos while the cost of a loaf of bread is $2.50 or more in some places. Homeless shelters bring visions of the Third World to mind. The levels of alcohol and drug abuse rise higher and higher, and more and more billboards touting the wonder of mindlessness dot the landscape.

"The question I would ask is, When are you going to start doing what the people elected you to do?"

A fair question, and in about three weeks Nelson got his answer. Like other Presidential mail I've seen recently, it bore the White House letterhead and a reasonable facsimile of Bill Clinton's signature. This is what it said: "Dear Carl:

"I appreciate hearing your views on the situation in the former Yugoslavia. I am deeply concerned about the continuing aggression there and the atrocities that are still being inflicted upon the people of that region.

"I am working closely with my foreign policy team to help resolve the problems that have caused this conflict. Bringing peace and stability to that area of the world is one of my Administration's highest priorities. We face many tough choices in dealing with the tragedy in Bosnia, but it remains my intention to work with our allies on a course that will help repair the damage that this conflict has done to the Balkans and to Europe.

"Thank you for your interest in this important issue."

Right. But what about the tragedy in America, which Carl Nelson wrote about to the President?

Nelson says, "The only other time I can recall having an interchange like this was anytime I ever spoke with one of my supervisors at work. But hell, they are just Waukegan policemen like me. This is (supposedly) the President of the United States, and I would figure that he, or his designee, could answer the issues put forth by anyone who takes the time to write.

"If they don't care to do that, why don't they just stamp everything Return to Sender, send it back, and let people like me know that they just don't give two movements of a bowel what we think.

"That would be cause for aggravation, of course, but at least I wouldn't worry so much that Bill snuck through a Rhodes Scholarship by copying off the guy next to him. Judging from his answer to my letter, I have to wonder if he knows how to read."

Maybe some of those laid-off members of the White House staff haven't found work yet and can be induced to come back.