DVD REVIEWS AND NEW RELEASES 'TROY' FLEXES CONSIDERABLE MUSCLE.

Byline: Rob Lowman Entertainment Editor

The gods favor the strong, says Greek King Agamemnon (Brian Cox) in Wolfgang Petersen's ``Troy,'' a massive, uneven retelling of the epic battle that took place more than 3,000 years ago.

While all the familiar characters of the Trojan War talk constantly of the gods, this is not Homer's ``Iliad,'' merely ``inspired'' by it. Apollo, Athena and the rest don't interfere with the conflict. Instead it's decided by men - hunky men like Brad Pitt as the superhero warrior Achilles, buffed up and wearing little enough to show off his muscles and bronze tan.

There is also plenty of other eye candy such as Eric Bana as the Trojan hero Hector, Orlando Bloom as his deadly archer brother Paris, who has stolen Helen (German model Diane Kruger) from Agamemnon's bearish brother Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson). Throw in the lovely Rose Byrne as Trojan priestess and eventual object of Achilles' affection Briseis and the lithe Saffron Burrows as Hector's wife, Andromache, and you might not even notice that there is a war going on.

Petersen (``Das Boot''), however, does give the combat scenes their own muscle; they are slickly edited and paced in order not to be confusing in the close-quarter fighting but move fast enough not to linger on the gore.

Pitt as the brooding, conflicted Achilles may not make you forget he's a movie star, but his acting gives you something more to watch than his well-oiled skin and dynamic fighting maneuvers. Bana (``The Hulk'') also shows strength as Hector, but of a different type - stoic, accepting, dutiful. The two leaders, Cox's Agamemnon and Peter O'Toole's Priam, the king of Troy, are in sharp contrast. Though royal in visage, Priam is all tremulous, accented by O'Toole's quavering delivery, and always ready to take his priests' advice based on omens from the gods despite better counsel to the contrary from his warrior son. Cox's Agamemnon will have none of the gods and is all huff and puff and ready to blow the walls of Troy down.

The heroes are at the heart of this ``Troy,'' from a script by David Benioff. So it should be of no surprise that some of Homer's tale has been altered, but the basic story remains intact.

You can stay home, live comfortably and be forgotten, Achilles' mother (Julie Christie in a cameo) tells her son, or you can go off, fight in this war, never to return and be remembered for thousands of years. We know his choice, but his death has a different meaning.

When Hector and Achilles ultimately battle, Petersen gives it a sense of import and dignity befitting the legend. Much of the rest of the film, while on a grand scale, lacks the grandness of that scene. Instead, it plays out more like an epic soap opera. But ``Troy'' never mires itself in plodding plotting too long - there's always a nifty battle scene or a sensuous body around the corner.

The second disc of the DVD has three featurettes on the making of ``Troy.'' Much of it is your standard-issue ``this was such a monumental challenge.'' Alas, for those who care, there were no more revealing shots of Pitt, but there is a rundown of the gods everyone was talking about.

As far as stoner comedies are concerned, ``Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle'' is not the dopiest. Harold (John Cho, ``American Pie'') and Kumar (Kal Penn, ``Malibu's Most Wanted'') are unlike slackers Cheech and Chong in that they are smart young guys who want out of the successful career paths they have been put on, and getting stoned is their way out.

The plot is simple: Getting the munchies after inhaling some weed, the pair (one Chinese-American the other Indian-American - call this an attempt to belie stereotypes) head out to find a White Castle for some burgers. Judgment impaired, it isn't long before the pair run into trouble and oddball characters such as an auto mechanic named Freakshow who offers the boys his wife for sex.

Jokes are tossed out willy-nilly, most of them on the gross side. (Flatulence seems to be a constant theme in such comedies.) In one bizarre moment, Neil Patrick Harris, playing himself, takes off with Harold's car. ``Did Doogie Howser just steal my car?'' an amazed Harold wonders.

The man behind this comedy is Danny Leiner, who directed ``Dude, Where's My Car?'' Call this ``Dude, Where's My Burger and Car?'' A special edition ``Harold & Kumar'' DVD has more of the same sense of humor. But as anyone who has eaten at ``White Castle'' knows, the ``sliders'' (mini-burgers) taste better stoned. While sober - like parts of this comedy - they seem indigestible.

The bad romantic comedy of the week is ``Little Black Book,'' starring Brittany Murphy as Stacy Holt, a producer for a talk show hosted by Kippie Kann (Kathy Bates). When her boyfriend, Derek (Ron Livingston), goes on a business trip, Stacy is urged by co-worker Barb (Holly Hunter) to check his Palm Pilot for telltale signs of infidelity. This she does, and when Stacy finds that Derek has been in touch with some old flames, she decides - at Barb's suggestion -to investigate further.

If the plot hasn't gotten silly enough for you by this point, give it a minute. That two fine Oscar-winning actresses like Hunter and Bates are involved lends credence to the complaint how tough it is for middle-age actresses to land roles of substance.

A new special edition of ``Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'' is out today with another 70 minutes of bonus material added to that of the original release (which was just a few months ago). Included are ``Anatomy of a Scene,'' which looks at a key point in the film with commentary from director Michel Gondry, Jim Carrey and crew members; a look at how the special effects were done; a conversation between Gondry and Kate Winslet; and new deleted and extended scenes. If you haven't seen ``Eternal Sunshine,'' it is one of the best films of 2004.

``Troy'' (Warner; $29.95) on two discs.

``Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (Unrated Extended Edition)'' (New Line; $27.95) includes deleted scenes, outtakes, interviews and commentary.

``Little Black Book'' (Columbia; $26.98).

``Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Collector's Edition'' (Universal; $27.90) on two discs.

'Las Vegas' and more TV

The first-season set of ``Las Vegas,'' the NBC show starring James Caan about the security operations at the Montecito, a high-priced Las Vegas resort, is offering something different - scenes too hot for network television, sort of the unrated version of the series. Mmmmm. Could this start a trend? The sales of an unrated ``Desperate Housewives'' would be astronomical. ``Las Vegas,'' though, doesn't match HBO's freedom. A tame episode of ``The Sopranos'' or ``Deadwood'' is way beyond anything here. But it's a trend that you may see more of.

Other TV box sets coming out are listed below.

``Las Vegas'' (Universal; $59.98) includes 23 episodes and featurettes.

``CSI: Miami - The Complete Second Season'' (Paramount; $64.99) includes 24 episodes, featurettes and commentary.

``Millennium - The Complete Second Season'' (Fox; $58.90) includes 23 episodes and commentary.

``God, the Devil and Bob - The Complete Series'' (Fox; $26.90) includes 13 episodes, commentary and featurettes.

Rob Lowman, [phone]

robert.lowman(at)dailynews.com

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Photo:

ERIC BANA, left, and ORLANDO BLOOM in ``Troy''