DVD `BLACK DAHLIA' TELLS STORY OF L.A. MURDER MOST GRISLY.

Byline: Rob Lowman Entertainment Editor

I was rooting for Hilary Swank in ``The Black Dahlia.''

Sure, she was the bad girl in Brian De Palma's adaptation of the James Ellroy novel of the famous murder, but even while channeling Katharine Hepburn and Lauren Bacall, Swank was the only one who fit into the '40s-style picture.

As for the other stars -- Scarlett Johansson, Aaron Eckhardt and Josh Hartnett -- they may have thought it was a Woody Allen comedy. True, a coherant script and some vision from the director would have helped.

Unlike Curtis Hanson's ``L.A. Confidential'' -- another Ellroy adaptation -- ``The Black Dahlia'' never got a handle on the novel's convoluted plot, a fictionalized account of the grisly 1947 murder of 22-year-old would-be actress Elizabeth Short (Mia Kirshner), known as the Black Dahlia, that captured the city's and the nation's imagination.

Two L.A. police detectives Bucky Bleichert (Hartnett) and Lee Blanchard (Eckhart) -- both local boxing champs -- take on the case. Between them is Kay (Scarlett Johansson) in a tight sweater and scars on her body that tell of a bad past.

In typical pulp-noir fashion, there are subplots that all interconnect, but the famed twisted plot of ``The Big Sleep'' is as easy as ABC compared with the mess of ``TBH.'' By the end of the film, it becomes so ludicrous that Hartnett's Bucky is almost being handed clues to try to put things together.

De Palma -- one of Hollywood's most cinematic directors -- almost always puts something on the screen worth watching, even if it's dumb, but not this time. Other than the art direction by Dante Ferretti, Swank and Kirshner, whose Short is seen in black-and-white screen tests, the mystery of the ``The Black Dahlia'' is what went wrong.

``The Last Kiss'' stars Zach Braff as a 29-year-old man who is trying to grow up or -- really -- act his age in this youth-fixated society.

Braff's Michael has a solid career and a pretty, pregnant girlfriend named Jenna (Jacinda Barrett). He hangs with his buddies but feels he's in a ``crisis'' as 30 approaches. When, at a wedding, Michael meets Kim (Rachel Bilson), a cute college student he finds himself attracted to, doubts turn into fumbling actions.

While hardly original, ``The Last Kiss'' manages to be more honest in its approach than similar Hollywood films, most of which are played for laughs anyway. Love ain't easy -- especially if you're not willing to grow up. And as Michael's parents (Tom Wilkerson and Blythe Danner) show, it's not easy when you're grown.

While Michael might be an accurate description of a self-centered 20-something of today, it doesn't make him all that interesting as the subject of a film that, despite its virtues, undermines ``The Last Kiss.''

You always have to be cheered by low-budget horror flicks. Not that I'm big fan of the grisly, but ``The Descent,'' about six female spelunkers, falls into the time-honored tradition of using atmosphere to create the terror. And where better than a cave where the young athletic women find out they're not alone.

Directed by Neil Marshall, ``The Descent'' grabs you early and doesn't let go. On the extras, Marshall notes that ``The Shining,'' ``Deliverance'' and ``Alien'' influenced the film. He was certainly paying attention.

Rob Lowman [phone]

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NEW FILMS

``The Black Dahlia'' (Universal; $29.98)

``The Last Kiss'' (Paramount; $29.99)

``The Descent -- Original Unrated Cut'' (Lionsgate; $28.98)

``Haven'' (Fox; $27.98)

``Factotum'' (IFC; $29.99)

``Jackass -- Number Two'' (Paramount; $29.99)

TELEVISION

``Dane Cook's Tourgasm'' (HBO; $29.98)

``Airwolf - Season 2'' (Universal; $39.98)

``Simple Life 4 'Til Death Do Us Part'' (Fox; $19.98)

``Two-A-Days -- Hoover High -- The Complete First Season'' (Paramount; $38.99)

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Photo:

Hilary Swank portrays a seductive socialite who resembles the young would-be actress whose grisly murder Josh Hartnett's LAPD officer is investigating in ``The Black Dahlia.''