DUFF'S `THE PERFECT MAN' LESS SO FOR NON-TWEEN CROWD.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

`THE PERFECT Man'' is built on a premise that's about as plausible as ``Mr. & Mrs. Smith's.'' To make matters worse, Hilary Duff's latest effort at tween-pleasing takes the whole setup seriously.

Not deadly so, however, which is a slight saving grace. Had it not been played for light laughs, this tale of a woman who uproots her two daughters to a new city every time a love affair goes south would be unbearably depressing. Kind of like that movie ``Anywhere but Here,'' which nobody went to.

On the other hand, ``Perfect'' goes too far in the other direction. It's such an airy, box-mix kind of concoction, it threatens to dissipate before our very eyes. A few funny bits and some genuinely touching instant message exchanges give the proceedings an occasional jolt. But this is strictly for a young female audience that found ``Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants'' too demanding.

Fed up with never staying in one place long enough to make it to a school dance, Duff's 16-year-old Holly Hamilton keeps a blog that expresses her frustration with zingers such as ``Mom calls it home, I call it the Witness Protection Program.'' She's referring to their latest digs in a nice section of Brooklyn, where talented baker Jean Hamilton (Heather Locklear) finds work at a local deli, and her daughter finds an instant best friend, Amy (Vanessa Lengies of TV's ``American Dreams''), and interested cute boy, Adam (``Living With Fran's'' Ben Feldman).

Naturally, Holly doesn't want Jean to pull up stakes again. So, with Amy and Adam's conspiratorial aid, she makes up a flower- and enticing e- mail-sending Mr. Right, based on Amy's ultra-desirable, restaurateur Uncle Ben (Chris Noth, ``Sex in the City's'' Mr. Big himself).

Of course, increasingly extreme, neurotic measures are called for in order to maintain the ruse. And at some point, Holly will have to produce the flesh-and-blood article. Most of this stuff, as well as the elementary life lessons everybody learns, comes straight out of the standard TV sitcom playbook. It's no surprise that director Mark Rosman helmed a number of Duff's ``Lizzie McGuire'' episodes, as well as her last popular formula movie, ``A Cinderella Story.''

That noted, ``Yes, Dear's'' Mike O'Malley gets some good laughs out of his role as Jean's smitten, Styx-loving fellow baker (viewing this as some satirical comment on Locklear's own marriages to hair band guys would be giving the film credit for sophistication that otherwise isn't evident). Then again, ``Queer Eye'' guy Carson Kressley fills the gay accessory post all girly films like this need in the usual unthreatening, uninspired way.

In conclusion, whatever's perfect about this movie starts and ends in the middle of the title.

Bob Strauss, [phone]

bob.strauss(at)dailynews.com

THE PERFECT MAN - Two stars

(PG: mildly suggestive content)

Starring: Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear, Chris Noth, Mike O'Malley, Ben Feldman, Carson Kressley, Aria Wallace, Vanessa Lengies.

Director: Mark Rosman.

Running time: 1 hr. 40 min.

Playing: In wide release.

In a nutshell: This Duff vehicle, about a teen who creates an imaginary suitor for her desperate single mother, is innocuous to the point of hardly registering.

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Heather Locklear, left, Aria Wallace and Hilary Duff are a family that never stays in one place too long, until Duff's character hatches a plan to change that in ``The Perfect Man.''