DON DENNIS SHARES HIS LOTTO DREAMS.Byline: Dennis McCarthy Dennis McCarthy may refer to:
Bummer bum·mer n. 1. Slang An adverse reaction to a hallucinogenic drug. 2. Slang One that depresses, frustrates, or disappoints: Getting stranded at the airport was a real bummer. , huh? We're still here. Lady Luck let us down again. So, where'd you figure you'd be hiding out today to duck the paparazzi pa·pa·raz·zo n. pl. pa·pa·raz·zi A freelance photographer who doggedly pursues celebrities to take candid pictures for sale to magazines and newspapers. and your relatives after hitting the big lottery? I thought I'd be sipping martinis on the Riviera, practicing to become one of the world's truly great shallow, obnoxious, ``let'em eat cake,'' jet-setting super millionaires. Maybe lay low for a few weeks just to throw a scare into my kids that they weren't getting a dime. Take the time to work on my game plan for blowing my cut of $102 million before I die broke. Instead, like the rest of you, I'm back at the old store - 20 bucks worth of worthless lottery tickets poorer. Drinking vending machine vending machine, coin-operated, automatic device for selling goods. Many vending machines are capable of making change, and some of the more sophisticated ones accept paper money or credit cards. coffee, eating a stale bagel and trying to put some words together again. Ah, what the heck, it was fun while it lasted, wasn't it? All the dreaming about becoming filthy rich filthy rich adj. Extremely rich. . I haven't seen that many people smiling and laughing in L.A. since O.J. climbed into the back seat of his Bronco bronco: see mustang. and told Al Cowlings Allen G. Cowlings (born June 16, 1947 in San Francisco, California) first gained fame as an American football player, but is also known for his role in the saga of O.J. Simpson's murder trial. to head for the freeway. We were all talking serious lottery trash Wednesday, weren't we? Outside of a church confessional, there's nothing like a swollen lottery pool to make people come clean. The bummer is we never get to see what we'd really do with the money, how we'd react, because we never win. But we spent the money in our minds anyway, didn't we? We divvied it up in our dreams, and determined who, in our lives, was in, who was out. I sure did. Here's what I was dreaming about if those damn pingpong balls had played ball and popped up with my numbers Wednesday night. I saw myself as becoming a sort of kind, benevolent Don Corleone Don Corleone may refer to three major characters in Mario Puzo's The Godfather saga:
I'd have rented a villa somewhere in southern Italy, and flown in all my relatives for a sit down, and big party. One by one, I'd call'em into my darkened dark·en v. dark·ened, dark·en·ing, dark·ens v.tr. 1. a. To make dark or darker. b. To give a darker hue to. 2. To fill with sadness; make gloomy. 3. study to hear them sing my praises, and lie about what a great guy they always thought I was. Then, I'd drop the hammer. ``Mom, you had me, I figure that's worth $5 million. Pop, you helped, but from what mom tells me, not that much. You get $3 million. ``Now, let's talk about that night back in '56 when I wanted to go out and play with my friends after dinner, but I got a spanking spanking Pediatrics Corporal punishment, usually of children, in which the buttocks, are pummeled, swatted, or otherwise struck. See Corporal punishment Sexology Slapping, usually of the buttocks as a part of sexuoerotic activity. Cf Sadomasochism. and sent to bed instead because you guys were in a bad mood. ``That's going to cost you a million each. Now, send in my kids. ``Kids, you're each getting $5 million because you are my blood, and I love you all dearly. But I want you each to sign this affidavit that if you blow the money on fast cars and easy living, like I plan to do, you won't ever come back for more, or, worse, want to move back in the house with me. ``Now stop fighting, and sign the affidavit before I change my mind and start deducting for all the medical bills, car insurance premiums and college tuitions. Send in my brother on your way out. ``Dearest brother, you get $10 million for coming along in life when I was 16, and in desperate need of finding ways to get out of the house so I could go play with my hoodlum friends. ``You accomplished that for me, and I will be eternally grateful. Our parents forgot all about me when you were born. Take this $10 million as a gesture of my appreciation. ``Now, send in our cousins, aunts and uncles, the backbone of La Familia This article is about the Polish political party. For other uses, see Familia (disambiguation). Familia ("The Family," from the Romain familia . You each get a million because I love you, and besides, my mother would kill me if I cheaped out and only gave you a couple of hundred grand each. ``Besides, I figure I owe you all for the birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and holidays I forgot to call or send a card. Now, if you will excuse me, I must talk to my loving wife. She seems a little upset about something.'' ``You gave your brother $10 million?'' my wife yells, walking into the darkened den. That's the last thing I remember before the alarm went off Wednesday morning - lottery day. By the time I got back to bed Wednesday night, the numbers were in, and they weren't mine. I wasn't dreaming of becoming Don Corleone anymore. I was back to dreaming what I always dream. What the hell am I going to write about tomorrow? |
|
||||||||||||
Printer friendly
Cite/link
Email
Feedback
Reader Opinion